Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 90 Maybe Someday

"I was just leaving." She stands up refraining from looking at me. Is she here for me or Paul? I have no idea but we DO need to talk things through a little. What better time than right now. Not like I can physically go anywhere or leave the building.

"Actually, can we talk?" I walk to the bedroom and Trisha follows, closing the door behind her. She sits down on the neatly made. I sit on the small loveseat across from her "You've been avoiding me since the trial, Trish. Why?"

"I'VE been avoiding YOU?"

"Trisha." I smirk a little at her comment. "I'm on house arrest and can't use a phone..." I lift my hands and she slouches down.

"James, what's happening?" She bites the inside of her cheek. "Why would you choose to live here verses with me?"

"Is that what this is about?" I take her hand. It's rare to see Trisha vulnerable. She has a tough exterior. I really didn't think this would be a big deal. I thought she'd understand. "Of course I'd come here. Sweetie, you're going to be going back on tour with Nate. I really don't want my sisters taking care of me. Julia knows how to as well as Paul."

"No, you chose to live with Julia because you're still in love with her. Let's be honest with each other here."

My heart sinks.  Because Trisha is 100% right. 

"I mean, you're in love with Nate. You've told me this before. You've told HIM this before." I say softer. 

"James. Don't you get it? I was trying to move on. I thought.... with you. But I guess I was wrong."

"But if you were in my shoes, you'd choose to live with Nate. We both know this."

******

*Trisha*

I don't know what I was thinking going to the Avalon. I DID go to see James, but then once I saw him, chickened out. I wasn't there for Paul. But then Paul and I started talking and I realized maybe I WAS there for Paul- for a friend- to vent to. Which I did.

James and I got into it a little. Not so much a fight, not even a heated conversation. Just...the honest truth. We are both in love with people who don't love us back. It hurts like hell. But using James as my rebounder isn't right. He deserves more. I deserve more. Am I pissed that he chose to live at the Avalon? Damn right I am. But James knows I'd do the exact same friggen thing if I was put in his shoes. I can't be mad at him for that.

So now, while everyone is asleep, I stand here in the middle of Nate's kitchen at almost midnight, wondering what the hell to do with my life. 

Of course Nate hears me making a cup of tea and decides to join me. 

"So are we going to talk about why you were at the Avalon this afternoon or am I supposed to pretend I didn't see you get into Ren's car and leave?" Nater leans against the counter and crosses his arms over his bare chest.

 Shit. I had no idea he saw me this afternoon. I look down at my cup of tea and shrug. Do I want to keep having the same conversation over and over again with Nate? Not really.

"Did you hash it out with Gallo, yet?" 

"Sure did." I huff and continue to stare at my cup.

"And....??" Nate nudges me with his shoulder.

"I think we broke up. I'm not sure."

"You're not sure ? What does that even mean?"

"He's always going to be in love with Julia, Nate. That's why he chose to stay with her." I finally look up at my best friend.

"And I'm always going to be in love with you."

******

*James*

Julia is calm now and willing to talk to me. Earlier when she was battling some detox symptoms, she wanted nothing to do with me. Now that Nate is gone, she lays in bed with me. This is how it always goes. I'm always second best. It's so frustrating to be so in love with someone who chose someone else. I know Julia loves me. I know she has feelings for me. But the truth is, I will never be able to take care of her the way Nate can. Just like no one can ever take care of me the way Julia can. 

"I'm sorry for what I said, today. Again." Julia tucks my hair up off my forehead.

"I know you are. Let's just forget about it." I sigh, really just wanting to drop it all together.

"James, why was Trisha here today?" 

"Not sure, but I think we broke up." I roll on my back and cover my eyes with my arm.

"Oh." An awkward silence fills the room. "I'm sorry. Why?"

I huff and shake my head before turning back to Julia.

"Because I'm always going to love you."

*******