Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 83 Verdicts And Vendettas

"Don't take it personally. I know you are." Nate leans against the counter facing me and puts his hands on my hips. "I can read you like a book, angel."

"He's pushing me away." I close my eyes and drop my head to his shoulder.

"He is. But let him right now. Let him do whatever the hell he needs to do, ok?" 

I nod but then push myself off Nate and walk away...leaving my cup of tea behind. I walk out to the balcony for a little air but that's when it all catches up with me. I lean against the railing and bury my face in my hands to cry.

I hate this! I hate that James is going through so much and I don't how to comfort him. I don't have the listening skills he needs from me. I lack so much since mom died. And then Dave messed me up.  I gave him everything. All of me. I'll never do that again. The only person who understands me is Nate.

 I'm shut off, have trouble showing emotion without trying to fix shit and apparently, I'm just an uncompassionate, awful person to be around. I'm losing James and I really like James. Never mind dating...

I'm losing him as a friend.

******

*James*

Evan drives me and Nate to The Avalon so we don't have to call Nate's driver again. We park in the back where the apartments are. There's a private lot to park in and then a cute walkway that leads to each apartment. I don't know how many there are, maybe four or five, nor do I know which one is Jeremy's. But Julia's has this cute little sunflower welcome mat and a flower wreath on her door. I imagine Jeremy must have put it there. Next to her door is a nice white privacy fence where her yard is. Maggie has taken ownership of that space.

Paul answers and Julia, who is in the kitchen, almost knocks her drink off the table and runs to me for a hug.

"Oh my God, are you ok??"

"I'm fine. Just have a tension headache now. That was all aired on tv, huh?" I hug her so tight I may just break her.

"No. They shut off all cameras as it happened. I knew it was a seizure from the expression on your face though. And then Maggie started barking." She cries into my chest.

"Babe, I'm ok. I'm just really tired, that's all. It was a long day." Lately, every time I have a seizure it drains me, and I becomes physically exhausted for quite some time after. Sometimes days. Julia doesn't respond. Not in words. Instead, she takes my hand and walks me to her room to lay down and rest. She sits me on her big, perfectly made bed and takes my sneakers off for me before I climb into the covers.

"Will you lay with me? Just for a little while?" I smirk. She'll give in.

Julia climbs in and lays right next to me so our foreheads almost touch. I close my eyes and when a tear slides down my face Julia swipes it away for me, leaving her hand on my cheek.

"I'm so tired." I say with my eyes still closed. "These seizures are more frequent and take a lot out of me."

"I know, sweetie." Julia kisses my lips as we drift off to sleep together.

We actually sleep for a good three hours before I wake up. Maggie has made her way in between us and is licking my face and putting her paw on me. She's bored and wants my attention. Julia is still fast asleep which makes me think she hasn't been sleeping as much as she needs to at night. I slowly get out of bed and fortunately, Julia didn't shut the door all the way. She probably did that on purpose because she knows I can't turn the handle very well.  

"Hey man, you ready to go home and eat?  I'm sure Maggie is ready for Casey to take her for a long walk." Jonah looks up from the kitchen table where he is scrolling through his phone. I nod, still somewhat groggy and look at the microwave. It's already almost seven at night.