Save me from myself (Joshler AU)

Just try

Josh's POV:

I slipped out of class a little early so I could find Tyler and grab some lunch. I was walking to my locker and heard sobbing and smashing.. Not many people in this school that it could be and in this case I wanted so badly to be wrong about what was happening.

I stepped in cautiously and laid eyes on a sobbing, stumbling Tyler, all scratched up and delirious. Oh god Ty. Right as I walked over he collapsed and hit his head on the wall. "Ty? Ty! Ty no.. Oh no oh no oh no oh no.." I began repeating as I hurried to his side. I pulled him onto my lap and began lightly patting his cheeks with my hand.. He was passed out. Oh god Ty..

I grabbed my bag and carried him home, luckily I didn't live far from the school and Tyler was thin and light. I arrived at my doorstep and set him down on the steps and carried him in after unlocking he the door. I ran up the stairs and lay him down on the bed.. This all sounds way too familiar.

This was not the first time I had to carry a passed out Tyler into my room.. This was not the first time I've had to wash away blood from Tyler's delicate and precious skin. I blamed myself somehow.. I wanted to protect him, I want to save him from everything, including himself.

After Tyler was cleaned up I just sat and waited for him to regain consciousness.. I didn't know how long that would take and I didn't care. I had to be here when he woke up, I had to make sure he knew he wasn't alone.

~Later~

Nearly 10 hours had passed that Tyler lay unconscious in my bed. It's about 10:30 now and the sun has long set.. I still sit in the same chair, same position, still biting on my nails and I've been crying for hours.

Tyler's rustling in his sleep, I think he's waking up. "T-Tyler, a-are you awake?" I asked hopeful and he glanced over at me, nodding. "I'm sorry" I heard Tyler say quietly. No. Just no. He does not get to do this right now. We began bantering slightly and he- he said he loved me. "Tyler I.. I love you too.. So much"

Tyler looked deep into my eyes and grabbed me shirt pulling me close and pressed our lips together. He pulled me onto him and I didn't hesitate or discourage it. Tyler ran his hands around my lower back and slid his hands under my shirt. We were kissing so passionately and as much as I enjoyed it, I stopped. "Tyler- Tyler I can't" I said looking down sadly.

"Josh please"

"Tyler I can't"

"Why"

"Tyler no! I.. I can't let what happened yesterday happen again.."

"Josh I'm okay now, it won't happen aga-"

"Tyler you don't know that! I can't be the cause of your pain.. I can't do that to you. Tyler what do you call what happened at school today then?"

"Josh.. Please.. Please just try.. For me.."

"Tyler I-"

He cut me off before I could speak.