Save me from myself (Joshler AU)

Just act normal

Tyler's POV:

I woke late at night and found Josh's arms not wrapped around my small frame.. I began to panic for a moment wondering where he was until I heard shifting on the floor. I began to replay tonight's events in my head. Oh god. I shivered as I quietly said his name, with him replying mine. I told him to hold me and he wasted no time in doing so.. Though I wouldn't blame him if he were being hesitant, considering he watched me suffer and I wouldn't let him help me.

His touch was so instantly therapeutic, he was so warm and I felt so safe in his arms. I weakly said 'I'm sorry'.. And he.. Did he just say.. He said he loved me.

~ Morning ~

It's 6:45 AM. I wake up with a stretch and Josh still lies in deep sleep beside me. He was laying on his back and I carefully swung my leg over his so I straddled his waist. He opened his eyes and rubbed them, instantly blushing when his vision was clear enough to see I was on top of him. "Good morning cutie" I said sweetly. "Good morning love" he replied with an adorable smile. I leaned down and rolling his head away he said "no I have morning breath!" And I stared at him, mouth wide. As if I cared what this beautiful creatures breath smelled like. "Um, I'm going to kiss you anyways babe so pucker-up" I said giggling and looking into his eyes. I was trying so hard to make him happy even though I knew I could never make up for what happened last night.. I really should've just left, he deserves so much better.. Stop it! Stop thinking! My upsetting train of thought was soon interrupted my a soft pair of lips on mine and I sunk in, deep, forgetting whatever it was I was sad over.

"Hey Ty? So.. Are you okay to go to school today?" Josh asked me, concerned and slightly nervous. "Uhmm.. Y-yeah I.. I think so" I replied, not sounding very confident in my answer. "Well you don't sound very sure" he said giving me a sympathetic and questioning look. "Well.. I'd like to try and just forget last night okay.. So.. Let's go to school and try to act normal" I said receiving a sad look as he remembered last night, as well. "Okay Ty, we can do that" he said with a halfhearted smile.

I gave Josh a peck on the cheek, climbing out of bed and getting dressed. I put on a long sleeve shirt and some jeans. Josh dressed and made breakfast and we left for school.

Josh's POV:

Tyler had been trying so hard all morning to act like nothing happened and was trying to make up for last night. I wanted to be normal but I felt like I couldn't kiss him or touch him without triggering him.. And I know it's just me but I-I can't.. I can't take that chance.. I can't watch him go though that ever again.

We walked to school and parted ways with a smile as we arrived at our classes. I was so nervous about Ty today, I couldn't help it. I tried to push my worried thoughts about Tyler to the back of my mind.. Though it was almost impossible to do. Many times during class I would let my mind drift off to last night and nearly burst into a river of tears but I had to calm down.. I couldn't let this get to me. He wanted to forget about it.. Be normal, I can do that for him.. Can't I?