Save me from myself (Joshler AU)

Bad memories

(I'm just going to start off by saying I had a really bad night so I'm sorry but this ones gonna be a bit.. 😭😭😭 Also, small trigger warning possibly)

Josh's POV:

Ty and I had gone back inside shortly after the sun finished setting and changed into our pajamas and put on a movie. He fell asleep quickly, but with all that's been going on he has a right to be exhausted. I turned off the movie and cuddled up close to him, pulling him into my arms till there was no space between us.

It's 2 AM. I was awoken by Tyler shaking and crying in his sleep. I immediately shook him as hard as I could till his red, sobbing eyes opened to look up at me. His eyes darted about the room and he was panting and started to mumble in between sobs. I scooped him into my arms shushing him with soothing words in an attempt to calm him down. He was still shaking and twitching in my arms but as he began to calm down he just hugged me tighter and they slowly came to a stop.

"Ty what happened?" I asked nervously pulling away and looking into his eyes filled with fear. "I-I'm sorry just.. Are you okay?" I continued, seeing his anxiety return slightly remembering whatever it was he saw. "I-um.. I've been better.. I.. I-he.. I had a nightmare and he.. It was.." He was staggering all over the place, unable to form a full sentence. "I-I saw um.. My-my father.. He" he attempted to continue. "Tyler it's okay, you don't have to tell me, it's obviously hurting you to remember" I said grabbing his soft, quivering hands. "Oh Josh so much happened.. I-I remember everything, everything I've been repressing for so long, Josh it was so cruel and my mother.. Oh god my mother.." He continued going back to full on sobbing. "Josh I'm amazed I'm still alive.. Whether my father beat the life out of me or I took my own life just to get away from his torture.." He said with defeat. "Ty please don't say that, you're here now and that's all that matters. Ty he's going to get what's coming to him okay. You're safe now, I'm not going to let anything happen to you" I said beginning to cry.. He'd been through so much and it was tearing me apart to see him this way. "Thank you" was all he could manage to say back. "Always Ty" I said wrapping my arms around him. "Hey do you wanna take a shower or something? Try to calm down a bit more?" I asked. "Yeah" he said.

Tyler's POV:

I rummaged through my bag trying to find some clothes to set aside after I showered but accidentally found that I had packed a small, all too familiar box. In this box is where I kept blades and shards of glass.. Basically everything I'd ever used to self harm. I stopped and stared at them for a moment until Josh noticed asking if I was okay, to which I simply said I was fine and hurried to the bathroom accidentally carrying the box with me in shock. I felt better after Josh calmed me down but damn I really wanted to cut.

I walked into his bathroom closing and locking the door behind me and setting the box down in the sink. I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment telling myself I needed to refrain from self-harming.. I needed to for Josh. I took off my shirt and looked at the bruises forming deeper shades left by my father the other night. I completely undressed and ran my hands down my sides remembering the story of every scar left behind, whether it be my fathers fault or my own. I turned on the shower because I'd been in the bathroom for about 5 minutes and still no sound came from inside it. I didn't want Josh to worry or get the wrong idea.. Not that he was aware of my past anyway.

I stood in front of the sink staring down at the box and my hand hesitantly reached out towards it and my bottom lip quivered. I haven't self-harmed since meeting Josh.. I grabbed the box and placed it on the edge on the shower and stepped inside feeling the warm water run over my skin. I kept glancing at the box as it taunted me. I reached for the box and opened it.. I could already tell this was a mistake.. Hello old friends.