Point Of View 2 [*Do not read until you've read the same chapter of ATW]

Chapter 22-23 We're Not Together/ Into The Stars

"I'll be fine. I'm not gonna ruin the trip for everyone else because of my broken heart. My physically and emotionally broken heart."

"Sounds like your next song in the making, playboy."

*******

*James*

I wake up to feel Julia laying against me crying. She's already having a tough time with her addiction. It's gonna be a long day.

"You ok??" I open my eyes. We both lay on our sides facing each other.

"The Ativan dose isn't working anymore. My body is getting used to it I need more."

I nod and pull her so she is right against my body and let her cry into my chest. I confess to my best friend. James nods and pulls me right up against his body.

"I hate this! What was Jeremy thinking!"

"I know, sweetie. I think he was just thinking of the only way to get you to calm down and breathe. Your panic attack was so bad, remember?" I hold her a little tighter while talking.

"Jesus, I can feel your heart beating hard."

"I need more, James."

"Give it time. Maybe it's just taking a little longer to kick in." I try to console it Julia but it's not what she wants to hear.

"No. It would have worked by now." Julia sits up and wipes her eyes. "I can't do this." She jumps out of the bed and rushes to Jonah who is still sleeping. Maggie starts barking up a storm now, knowing something's up.

"Maggie. Come here girl." I call for my dog and she hurries to me. " Shh. It's ok girl." I pet her and try to calm the pup down.  I can hear Julia frantically waking Jonah up, which in return wakes Casey and Paul up as well. Julia begins having a panic attack, losing control completely.

"Hey, Moretti. Calm down." Paul jumps out of bed to try and help but Julia isn't having it and Maggie starts barking again.

"Shhhh. Mags.... stop. She's fine." I rest my head on Maggie, but she jumps off the bed when Julia begins to cry louder. I stand up and watch it all unfold as the nurses and bodyguards try to calm her down. Nothing's working. She is too hyper focused on the fact her medication isn't working.

"I'm gonna text Nate." Paul says as Julia slides down the wall in the back of the bus, now sobbing and shaking and pulling at her hair.

I don't know if I've ever seen her so out of control.

Not five minutes later and Nate is in the back of the bus trying to calm her down. But there's too many people in here and Julia is freaking out. Nate tells us all to go and we do. Casey helps me get dressed and then once we are all dressed, she takes the dog out while I follow Jonah and Paul into the venue for breakfast.

"I will help you with your food." Jonah can tell I'm a little nervous now once we are inside. Julia is the one to help me but right now, she's the one that needs help. I need to rely on others for my own basic needs and unfortunately Julia is not reliable. She is an excellent caretaker but when her own mental illness takes over, she can't focus on anything else but what she's going through.

"Hey Hot stuff one two and three..." Trisha says to all three of us guys as we walk in, all looking fairly distraught.

"I've got James if you guys want to go eat. I already had my breakfast." She links her arm around mine and leads me to the buffet.

"You point to what you are in the mood for, and I'll plate it for you. Meanwhile, spill it on what's going on in the tour bus." Trisha wants the scoop. I do as she says, pointing to what I'd like to eat while telling her about Julia's panic attack and medication not working.