SUPERNATURAL ↳ IMAGINES & ONE SHOTS [COMPLETE]

Angels ≫ Always

*TRIGGERING WARNINGS*

You were the little sister. No, you weren't related by blood. But the angels will forever protect what they cared...or who they cared. Even the stupid little things they go into rage mode. You, a simple human made them feel love. To cared for. To feel like a family. Lucifer, Gabriel, Balthazar and Castiel, oh and you.

You know, people would die for four angels for protection. You will always be their little sister. Even if you are just a simple human with basic needs. You will be their top priorities. The thing is they don't know everything about you.

They don't know how you skip meals or how you wear things to cover those scars. They don't know how you have nightmares at night or how sometimes you cry yourself to sleep. They don't know how you look in the mirror and loath yourself. They don't know about the panic attacks and anxiety.

They don't know the blood in the sink. They don't know about the burns on your body. They don't know how messed up your mind is so you take it on your body and now that is messed up as well. They don't know how you contemplate your death. They don't know how in your head you rehearsed your suicide so you won't fail. They don't know how you have a note tucked away for them to read.

They just don't know.

You know what?

Depression is like drowning. You try to suck up the happiness to feel happy but you can't so you watch people around you feeling good about themselves why you're stuck down under. Drowning.

Every day you look at yourself in the mirror and tell the same words you have been telling yourself. That you weren't good enough for the world. That you were incredibly too weird to function in the real world. Every single day you constantly listen to that inner voice loathing every aspect of your body.

Everyday you go through a same battle with a demon in your head. How they tell you how much people won't miss you or how much they won't realise that you are gone. You have the same conversation.

And every night you always go through the same. Picking up a blade and making drawings on the canvas. Then contemplates whether if it is the night. But you cower yourself out and clean yourself. You then go to bed but you don't sleep. You have those deeps thoughts and you have a break down. You cry and cry until you fall into a slumber. But always awoken by a nightmare.

Everyday, you fake smile. You fake laugh. You fake that you're okay, you tell everyone that 'i'm fine.' Excuse. Usually you end up lying at their faces. While you just think, "I get lost inside my mind." Because every time someone ask "Are you okay?" No amount of sleep in the world could cure the tiredness You feel.

You're scared to tell people how much it hurts, so you keep it all to yourself. And all of it builds up inside and you know it's not healthy but you continue to lock you emotions away and just carve them away at night.

Everytime people ask you if you're okay, it's just a reminder that you're not. You see, Monsters don't sleep under your bed, they scream inside of your head. While you think you're afraid to be happy because whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens.

Deep inside where nothing's fine, you've lost your mind? Everything is a battle, every breath is a war, and you don't think you're winning anymore.

Your thoughts were so loud you couldn't hear your mouth. If life doesn't kill you, emptiness will. Scars tell the story of where you've been, They don't dictate where you're going. And sometimes it hits you out of nowhere. All of a sudden this overwhelming sadness rushes over you. And you get discouraged and you get upset and You feel hopeless, sad and hurt. And once again, you feel numb to the world.

And you know what? That child game. Hangman. That game is perfect. Hang,an is great because it teaches you by saying the wrong things can end someone's life. Your head is a very dark place.

It's hard being around the angels. But somehow you keep up the act. Angels can usually see through the act and look at the souls but it seems like you acted so well that they believe that you are okay. They believe the fake smiles and laughs.

One night, you picked up the carver again and looked at the mirror. You looked how you wore a jumper to hide them drawings. You lifting your sleeve up, you see all those scars along the arm. You let out a sob and you couldn't take it anymore. You were prepared for a long vertical cut on the arm.

"(Y/n)! NO!"

You stopped and looked through the mirror. Behind you was Gabriel. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. You turned around with tears forming. You let out a sob as you pulled the blade closer to your arm. Gabriel looked at you, pleadingly.

"Please don't, (y/n)! You are beautiful! You are amazing, we could have helped you!"

"Helped me? All you have done was ignore me! You and your brothers hurt me inside. I needed someone and you guys didn't come to me!"

"And we're sorry about that, love! Just please! (Y/n), think about what you're going to do! We can't live with out you!" Balthazar said. You looked at him.

Suddenly you heard another voice, you turn to look at him. "You're amazing, intelligent, beautiful young lady. No-one like you should have gone through this. Just please let us help you." You have never heard Lucifer plead.

"(Y/n). We are here to help you. We are here for you and we are going to go through this together. We can't stand having you hurt."

You looked at Castiel. Then you looked at each and every brother in the room. You see their distraught pleading face look at you. You feel the tears fall down your cheek, you let out a sob as you dropped your blade. It landed with a clang. You broke down and sobbed. You were soon engulfed by a massive hug. You looked around and see the angels hugging you.

"Stay with me..?"

You didn't want them to save you. You wanted them to be at your side as you save yourself.

"Always"