ME
Once upon a time, there was a man named Overly. Overly… EVIL!!!! Overly was walking in the park one day and he passed a small puppy. The puppy was sitting on its haunches, looking up at him with that sad puppy face. “Awe!” Overly hunched over and petted the puppy on the head. The puppy’s tail wagged and its lips drew back in a snarl. Then, in one second, the puppy was GONE!
BF #1
Overly grabbed his hand, but it disappeared too! All that was left of his pale, wrinkled limb was a nub. He quickly tried to dial 911 on his high tech smart iphone, but he couldn’t, because nubs can’t dial. Overly screamed and ran in circles grabbing his wrists in hopes that the screaming would cause his hand to come back. It didn’t work….. Maybe I’ll just walk to the hospital, he thought. But how would he explain this?
BF #3
Overly sighed in frustration. Wait! He knew just the person that could help him! Taking off down the street, he sprinted to his evil lair. Kicking open the door, the evil doctor let out a scream. “Paul!” His young assistant turned in his swivel chair, half of a peanut butter and banana sandwich stuffed into his mouth. “Paul! My hands are – hey! I knew you would come around to my sandwich idea!”
Paul swallowed back his sandwich and was about to comment about the sandwich until he saw Overly’s nubs. “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HANDS!?”
BF #2
"That’s just it! I don’t know! One minute I’m petting a puppy and the next CRCOOF! No more falangees!!” Exclaimed Overly “PAUL.” He said pushing his handless arms in the assistance’s face.
Paul waved Overly away with his sandwich. “Well,” started Paul. “Let’s look it up.” He faced the huge computer screen and typed “when, hands, go, gone.. Ok so all we have to do is, find a candy princess.”
“A PRINCESS!! …. I don’t know a princess.” Overly said.
ME
“We’ll have to go to Candy Volcano [not to be confused with the infamous “Candy Mountain”]. It’s right down the block. I’ll go get the Nutty-mobile. Do you want me to bring snacks? It’s like a ten-minute drive if we speed…”
“Um… do we have any girl scout cookies left?”
“No. They mysteriously disappeared last night during reruns of The Office.”
“What about those hot cheetos we stole from that convenience store?”
“I think there’s a few left. But there’s probably candy in the volcano…”
“Candy in a volcano? Paul, that’s ridiculous.”
“But it’s-“
“C’mon, Paul. We haven’t got all day! I need my hands back!” Overly glanced questioningly at his hands, and then looked at Paul. “Hey can I drive?”
Paul stares sarcastically into the distance.
BF #1
As they drove in the nutty- mobile, Overly pestered Paul the whole way. “Hey Paul…. Are we there yet? Hey Paul… um I have to pee.”
“Why didn’t you go at the lair!!” exclaimed Paul.
“Well I didn’t want to bother you, but according to Dr.Oz if I hold in my pee my kidney could explode!!” Overly said matter a factly. “You don’t want me to die do you?!”
Paul pondered that question for a while and….. Kept driving. As they arrived at Candy Volcano, they were greeted by a yellow minion in a blue jumpsuit who would direct them to their destination. The only problem: The minion could only say papoie!!!
BF #3
In this case, Overly began to speak in the minion’s native tongue. “Papoie! Papoie! Papoie!” Immediately, the yellow … thing guided the two to the candy volcano. Not being able to resist, Overly took handfuls of candy while on his way up the winding trail to the top of the volcano. Paul ignored the sight, merely expecting something like this to happen. When they arrived, they could see the princess hanging over the hot lava by a twizzler rope.
“We’re here to save you!” Overly declared heroically.
“What?” the girl responded.
“We’re here … to SAVE you.”
“I didn’t know I needed to be saved. I’m perfectly fine.”
Paul face palmed. “You are hanging over a pit of lava by a piece of CANDY and you claim that you’re fine?”
“Precisely,” she replied.
“Oh … okay. Come on, Paul …” Overly turned around, his head hung low in disappointment.
BF #2
“Wait,” Overly spun around in excitement. “I didn’t come to SAVE you I came to KIDNAP you! Muwhahaha! Come along Paul we have napping to do!” Overly looked down at the swirling pools of lava. “Oh my, Paul, note to self: Don’t touch lava it appears to be extremely hot."
The two villains cautioned themselves around the edge of the volcano. Once they reached the princess, Overly pounced on the twizzler rope and seeing as his hands where temporarily missing, he wrapped his legs and arms around the sticky rope for dear life. “Ok Paul I need my special Kidnapping Kit of Kap!” Paul passed him the package, but the failed throw ended with the “KKK” in the boiling lava.
“Right, no hands….” Overly hopelessly looked down at his hands. “My hands…” he said miserably. “MY HANDS” His hands began to grow back. It was an awful sight to see, and yet a beautiful one. “PAUL MY HANDS!” He let go of the rope to show his friend but plummeted to the lava. Paul saved him as he often did with his evil genius device. And they went to Denny’s for milk.
The End
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Overly Evil Has an Adventure
HumorOverly Evil is the ultimate super villain. He prides himself in his ability to self-destruct peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and in his charming good looks and "luck with the ladies". However, his assistant Paul stands by in the background, jus...
