The Solitary Mate

Chapter 45

"I'm going with you to save Luna Penelope."

"Why would you want to do that?" He looked at me skeptically. He probably imagined all the ways in which my offer may be a trap and I didn't blame him.

"It's a long story but she's a very special person to my mate. If something were to happen to her... he may never recover." The familiar pain bit into my chest. I felt foolish.

James and I were officially mated. He told me he loved me. I told him I loved him. I also cared for Penelope, it wasn't just James. He had chosen me in the end and... I should have nothing to worry about but...

"What if something were to happen to you?" His question weighed heavy in the air, and I felt it cling to my skin like a wet blanket. I noticed James still lingering in the back of my mind and I felt overwhelmed by his faint presence. I surprised myself when I chose to block him out.

"I... I don't want to think how he may react to myself versus her in a scenario of one over the other. But she means a lot to him. She was his first of many things and I care for her as well. I couldn't forgive myself if I stood by when knowing something may happen to her and I don't want to see the pain it would cause James." My insecurities spread throughout my body like moss on a tree. Clinging to whatever it could get a hold of and festering into my flesh. I tried to shake it off but it clung strong to my skin.

"You could wait here. I could leave a trail of your scent for your mate to find. He would come for you. I know he would. You're his mate." Michael was so sure of his own words, but I wanted him to stop talking. Knowing Penelope was also in danger I feared the possibility of the opposite. I didn't want to face the truth of him not coming for me even if it were for the reason of saving Penelope from danger. I didn't want to test that scenario.

It settled in my chest. The fear of losing him. The fear of him disappearing again. The fear of him leaving. It dawned on me, slapping me in the face. I didn't fully trust James in this sense. I didn't feel like he was completely mine.

I sought comfort in the memories of our nights in bed, our first kiss, our marking, our love making, his voice, his gentle hands. Tears burned at my eyes once again and I had the lingering urge to puke. I was terrified. I didn't want to face a James that would need to choose between myself and Penelope again. The aching in my chest fed into my fear that the past would repeat itself I would not be the one he chose.

"Are you okay?" Like a dam breaking tears poured from my eyes. I sobbed like a baby. I broke. The exhaustion, the frustration, the pain, the overload of information. I broke down in front of this near stranger within the depths of a cave I would never step foot in otherwise.

Michael watched me carefully, uncertainty in his eyes. My sobs turned to hiccups, filling the quiet space. I sounded like a child. I tried to recall the last time I cried, and the tears threatened to intensify. I wiped at my eyes, my nose sore and stuffy. I felt a soft pressure on my head and looked up to see a tanned forearm hovering above me.

Michael lifted and lowered his hand slowly as if he were petting a dog for the first time. His hand was gentle, as if he feared I would break again at any moment. My curls began to tangle around his fingers, and he unleashed a curse under his breath. I couldn't help but laugh despite the tension surrounding us.

"I'm trying not to rip your hair out, hold still." Despite the anger in his tone his movements were gentle. I tried to minimize the shaking of my body as I continued to laugh.

"Is this your idea of comforting someone?" I couldn't help but grin, wiping the last tears from my eyes.

"Shut up." He said sternly and a few moments later he was free from my strands. "So... are you okay?"

I smiled for him, trying to ease his concerns. "It's complicated, but I can't wait around to see what comes of things. Regardless of James, Luna Penelope is in danger, and I don't want to just stand idly by." I let my mind settle for a moment more before speaking again.

"I'm going with you but I'm sorry, going to Arabella first is a bad idea. You would likely end up dead, I'm not confident they would listen to you considering your mother's history and if you're saying the next attack is already in motion we may be too late." Michael looked tense. I could tell from the clear strain along his jaw that he was biting back a growl.

"If we can show Luna Penelope and Alpha Gerald that you and Arabella are on their side by warning them before the attack we can gain their trust. We may be able to work out a deal. A deal where you and Arabella can be together. You don't have to be Michael. You can be your own person.... Aaron."

"I... I want that more than anything." We both stared into the fire, letting the sound of the waterfall and rain wash away any lingering fears. "Let's do it."

James POV

Enraged wasn't a strong enough word for what I was feeling. Disdain, disgust, frustration. It felt like fire was burning in my veins. He fucking took her and now she was blocking me out. Why, why, why?!

"James, calm down." Alpha Cain unleashed his Alpha tone, fed up with my fits at this point. He had gathered the few of us that he could spare to an emergency base beside the pack house. The place was a mess. Blood drenched portions of the grass, squishing beneath our feet. Cries were heard around the clock from various medical tents, injured and dead exiting in what felt like even numbers. Lists were being posted every hour of those missing, injured or killed. Of the missing a majority had already been found. Grace was not one of them.

I fought to control my anger, but it was near impossible. I took slow breaths of the air, clenching my fists tightly, my fangs protruding past my lips. If I acted up they would kick me out from the meeting. I needed to be here. This is the only way I could make sure I was on the mission being sent out to kill that prick.

"Don, has Arabella woken up yet?" Alpha Cain turned his attention to his son who stood quietly beside him.

"Not yet, but we have her restrained and under surveillance. We're prepared to interrogate her thoroughly once she's conscious." It had been hours since the attack, but it felt like days. The sun was just starting to set, and it dawned on me further how bold they were to attack in broad daylight. They were rather that confident or that desperate.

"Keep her separate from the captured rogues. We don't want to give them the chance to conspire in case our suspicions prove correct." Alpha Cain had a grim expression that weighed likely as heavy as his thoughts.

"Suspicions?! That fucking rogue of hers nearly killed Don! He came for her! That was no coincidence!" If I was angry Riley was seething. Her flesh was flush red, veins protruding from her forehead. If it weren't for Don's hand encircling her wrist I'm sure she'd be chasing down the same rogue I was after in the very moment. I would undoubtedly join her.

"I am well aware of the attack on my son, Riley." Alpha Cain narrowed his eyes at Riley. He was clearly struggling to remain neutral in the situation himself. She clenched her teeth, retreating back to her mate's side but refusing to look away from Alpha Cain's gaze. She would make a strong Luna one day.

"We can't move carelessly. Our pack is standing but the damage is undoubtable. Emily has already made massive strides in gathering our pack together and getting everyone safety and treatment. Our role is tracking down and killing the culprits who dared to fuck with our pack." A rumble filled the room as each warrior released a growl.

Everyone had a loved one impacted by the attack. A deceased parent, injured child, missing friend, taken mate... My own growl joined the masses and a sense of unity fell over the room. It was at this point that I felt her. Grace. She was attempting to reach out to me with our bond. I focused on it, my heart racing, my eyes wide. Mate.

"James... I have to tell you something."