The Solitary Mate

Chapter 45 Sneak Peek

"I'm going with you to save Luna Penelope."

"Why would you want to do that?" He looked at me skeptically. He probably imagined all the ways in which my offer may be a trap and I didn't blame him.

"It's a long story but she's a very special person to my mate. If something were to happen to her... he may never recover." The familiar pain bit into my chest. I felt foolish.

James and I were officially mated. He told me he loved. I told him I loved him. I also cared for Penelope, it wasn't just James. He had chosen me in the end and... I should have nothing to worry about but...

"What if something were to happen to you?" His question weighed heavy in the air and I felt it cling to my skin like a wet blanket. I noticed James still lingering in the back of my mind and I felt overwhelmed by his faint presence. I surprised myself when I chose to block him out.

"I... I don't want to think how he may react to myself versus her in a scenario of one over the other. But she means a lot to him. She was his first of many things and I care for her as well. I couldn't forgive myself if I stood by when knowing something may happen to her and I don't want to see the pain it would cause James." My insecurities spread throughout my body like moss on a tree. Clinging to whatever it could get a hold of and festering into my flesh. I tried to shake it off but it clung strong to my skin.

"You could wait here. I could leave a trail of your scent for your mate to find. He would come for you. I know he would. You're his mate." Michael was so sure of his own words but I wanted him to stop talking. Knowing Penelope was also in danger I feared the possibility of the opposite. I didn't want to face the truth of him not coming for me even if it were for the reason of saving Penelope from danger. I didn't want to test that scenario.

It settled in my chest. The fear of losing him. The fear of him disappearing again. The fear of him leaving. It dawned on me, slapping me in the face. I didn't fully trust James in this sense. I didn't feel like he was completely mine.

I sought comfort in the memories of our nights in bed, our first kiss, our marking, our love making, his voice, his gentle hands. Tears burned at my eyes once again and I had the lingering urge to puke. I was terrified. I didn't want to face a James that would need to choose between myself and Penelope again. I had the lingering feeling that I would not be the one he chose.

"Are you okay?" Like a dam breaking tears poured from my eyes. I sobbed like a baby. I broke. The exhaustion, the frustration, the pain, the overload of information. I broke down in front of this near stranger within the depths of a cave I would never step foot in otherwise.