Turbulence

Chapter 7

Eda was restless. She was pacing back and forth through her office, forgetting about a need to get some sleep before her night shift at the hospital. All her thoughts were concentrated on one subject or rather a person, Serkan.

She abruptly stopped. Only now she realized that he was already there and she would be responsible for overlooking his health after his almost drowning accident.

All she wanted was to run there, fall into his strong arms, and stay in his embrace for the rest of the day, but she couldn't. First, she wasn't here to think about her selfish needs but to provide medical care, and second, they weren't in a relationship. They weren't even dating, and Eda wasn't sure if it would ever happen. She could dream of it, but it was as uncertain as lately everything in her future.

Eda heavily sat at her desk and hid her face in her palms, letting out a small cry of frustration. How could she not know she was in love with Serkan all that time? She fell for him the moment their eyes locked, and with every day, she only was falling deeper to the point of no return. Maybe, because she was never in love before. Now Eda realized that she never loved any of her platonic crushes, not even her ex-boyfriend. She never felt for anybody anything as strong as she felt for Serkan.

It wasn't only about his handsome face, sexy body, and easygoing, happy nature of a golden retriever. She felt so comfortable around him that even when she was burning for him and sexual tension was up to the roof, threatening to explode at the most unexpected moment, she was never intimidated by him, even when he was confusing the heck out of her. 

She never felt more like herself than when she was in his company, as if he was made for her. Eda really wanted to believe that it was true and she was the one made for him. If not, she didn't know what she would do and how she would heal her broken heart.

Eda bit her lips as a sudden uncertainty overwashed her. What if he didn't feel the same? She didn't want to have an affair with him. She knew Serkan was sexually attracted to her. He many times made no so subtle allusions about them having sex, and even if she wanted that too, she wanted more. She wanted all of him, and his near-death experience finally made her see that clear.

Now what? Eda didn't have any plan on how to approach this new situation she found herself in. She was so bad at flirting that she wasn't able to make any move on Serkan when she wanted just to sleep with him. Now, when she realized her feelings to the full extent she could just go and ask him to nail her and hope for the best. What earlier seemed like a pretty straightforward plan turned out to be impossible.

She couldn't have gone off with Serkan. It would only make matters worse for her. Eda embraced her knees, pulling them under her chin, and rocked herself slightly on the chair, trying to comfort herself. She had no idea what to do, and now she was more lost than ever in her life.

* * *

Two hours later, after a quick shower and two liters of coffee, Eda took a deep breath and entered the hospital wing. She greeted Piril, who was having her night shift too, and walked to the small office to check if Ferit left any instructions for her, but there was nothing urgent for her to do. 

There weren't many patients at the hospital anyway. Only a couple of soldiers, among which was a recruit with a broken arm and Serkan. Eda wanted to go to him right away, but she refrained herself. She didn't want to look desperate and had no idea what she would tell him. Definitely not that she fell head over heels for him.

Eda made her round, leaving Serkan's room for the end, and when she finally went to check on him, she found him stretched comfortably on a bed, with his arms behind his head and closed eyes. He didn't notice her as he had headphones on and was listening to loud rock music.