At First Sight

40. Losing It

"Is she okay?" Don't act like you are concerned, you psychotic bitch! "What happened?" Just shut up! You are making this harder on me.

"Baby, please wake up." I do but not if they are still here. "Come on Cass." The concern in his voice and I hate that I got him worried. Blinking my eyes open, I look into his eyes. Ignoring the lingering eyes on me, I concentrate him. "Hey doll, don't scare me like that."

I'm sorry.

Sitting up I cling onto him and inhale his scent to help calm me down. This is not happening! The nerves are screaming inside me.

"Nate." Blinking up at him my vision is still a little hazy. "I'm not feeling so good."

"I'm sorry Cassie." Looking up I see the worry look on Hunter's face. "Are you okay?" Not when that crazy lady is clinging onto you like that.

"You're with her?" I accuse. To anyone else I might sound jealous, but I'm not. I'm just very worried. I don't trust her. At all!

"Yeah, we have been together for over a year now."

Standing up abruptly was a bad idea. My legs shake and my head pounds worse than ever. I need to get out of here. Now! Her hand lands on my shoulder and I flinch.

"Don't touch me!" Stepping back, she may look hurt, but I don't trust her. "Is this some sick joke?"

"No, Cassie, it's not a joke. I would never do that."

Is he serious? He's got to be joking, or did he forget about high school.

"You both did!" How dare they act like this.

"Baby calm down."

That's easier said than done when all the memories flash before me. Why can't I breathe? Clawing at my chest thinking that will help. No, it doesn't not at all.

"Focus on me Cass." I'm trying but it so damn hard. "I almost lost you once." Hearing the strain in his voice hurts worse than what I feel right now. "I can't. No, fuck that! I won't go through that again." Am I dying? Last time I checked I was having a panic attack or possibly a mental breakdown. "Do you hear me?"

Feeling his hands on my face unclouds my foggy brain and focus on his touch. Tracing the outline of my face like I have done so many times. Lips brush mine. Neve stop kissing me. Loving me. Clinging onto him as my lifeline I kiss him back.

"I brought some water."

Pulling away I see Victoria with a glass a water, trying to hand it to me.

"I don't want anything from you."

"Cass. I am sorry for what I did in high school. I was a different person back then." I want to believe her, but I just can't.

"You were a horrible bitch!" She flinches and I turn to Hunter. "So, were you. So why should I trust a word that comes out of either of your mouths?"

"I understand." Seeing the guilt in Hunter's eyes almost has me retract what I just said. but I can't and I won't. They made my high school year's a living hell! "If you want us to leave we will."

"Babe."

"No, Vicky. Cass is right."

"I told you she wouldn't listen." I see that glare in your eyes. You have not changed, and this just proves it.

"We can't force her to forgive us." Listen to your man, Vicky.

Anger rises inside me, and I do not like this feeling. I need to get away from this situation.

"I'll be right back." Whispering in Nate's ear as I kiss his cheek.

"Are you sure?" The concern in his eyes warms my heart even more.

"Yes, I will be right back."

Walking towards the bathroom just to clear my mind. Too many emotions and thoughts run through my mind as I splash some water on my face.

"You're so pathetic! Always getting sympathy from everyone just because your blind." I didn't want anyone's sympathy. I just wanted to feel normal. "No wonder Hunter dumped your sorry ass." He was never into me it was all just a joke. A bet. "Your only friends will get tired of you, and you will be absolutely alone." Nate and Lily would not leave me, will they?

"Stop it!" Staring at myself in the mirror blinking a few times, but the blurriness in my vision is starting to freak me out. "You are not that person anymore." Great now I'm talking to myself in the mirror.

"You're even more pathetic now."

Her eyes bore into mine in the mirror. I knew she didn't change. This was all an act. Gripping onto the counter hard that my fingers ache.

"What's pathetic is acting like you have changed when you clearly haven't."

"What is wrong with you?" Is she serious? "Why would you say that? I just asked if you are okay. Believe it or not Cassie I'm not the same person."

But she just said. Did I hear her wrong or is she messing with me?

"You just said..."

"What did I say?" Genuine curiosity shines in her eyes.

Am I going crazy?

Without another word I walk out of the bathroom and see Nate talking to Hunter. For some reason it pisses me off. Is he becoming friends with him? Seeing these two has made my mind spin so much I'm hallucinating, hearing things and just losing my damn mind.

"Cass, Hunter is a private investigator."

My blood runs cold, and I freeze in place. No, that's just a coincidence. It has to be! Whatever it is I cannot be here another minute. I'm freaking losing it. Images of Nate getting shot is playing on a loop inside my head. I can't make it stop. Pushing past them I bolt through the diner and out the door. I cannot be there a moment longer. My name is being called out, but I pay them no mind.

"Look out!"

Blurry images in front of me but for the life of me can't see them. Tires squeal as a body slammed into mine. The sound of glass breaking leaves a cold shiver down my spine.

"I'm calling 911."

Footsteps all around as too many voices invade my head until one drowns out the others.

"I'm sorry miss, I knew I should have had them tow my car. The brakes, I'm so sorry that poor young man."

"Nate!"

Scrambling to my feet as my head pounds harder. I don't see him, but I clutch my chest.

"He's not breathing."

Oh God! My heart hurts, clutching my hands to my chest.

"Nate!" Why can't I see? Blinking my vision blurs again.

"Cass, calm down." Hunter's voice hits my ears, but I don't see him, I just stare at the blurry person laying on the ground with EMT's around them. "You need to get checked out; you're bleeding."

I don't care! It feels like my heart is bleeding out right now.

Gasping when one of the paramedics moves and I see him perfectly. There lying lifeless is the love of my life.

"Nate!!!"

What have I done?