At First Sight

15. It's Time

So today is the day again, but the last time to see what will happen. I swear sometimes I feel like I am doing this more for everybody else than myself. Nate squeezes my hand three times as we sit in the back seat of Lily's car. We are on our way to the hospital for the last time...hopefully.

"Just a thought guys." I stop concentrating on Nate rubbing his thumb on my hand and snap my attention to Lily. "Who's going to teach Cass to drive when she gets her eyesight back?" Nate chuckles next to me and I shove his shoulder. "That is something I would like to see." He says still chuckling.

"Laugh it up pretty boy. I think you just volunteered."

"What?" I can just imagine the look on his face, and I laugh hard. I hear a clicking sound. "Delete that Lil." I feel him tense next to me. "Oh no. Cass definitely needs to see this it's hilarious." I feel the car move again and I assume we were at a red light. Thank goodness Lily is a safe driver when I am with her, because I remember my uncle complaining never to ride with her again.

"I'll be with you tonight and Lily will be with you tomorrow night. We will be rotating until you get out of the hospital." Nate pulls me to him, and I rest my head on his shoulder. "You two do not need to do that."

"Of course, we do babes. Where else would we be?" I shake my head and try to pull away from Nate, but he just pulls me back to him. "You both need to get a life and not worry about me so much. I am keeping you from so many things." Truth is I am grateful for them always looking out for me, but I always feel guilty about it. I feel the car come to a stop and our previous conversation forgotten as I feel my chest tighten again. Nate's hand rubbing up and down my arm helps calm my nerves some. "You got this doll." Nate whispers in my ear as he helps me out of the car.

With them both looping their arms through mine we walk into the place I hate the most. Lil talks with the reception, and we wait for Doctor Novac. I hear my aunt and uncle talk with Lily and Nate, but I am lost in my own world. I feel his thumb caress under my eyes, and I didn't even realize I was crying.

"No matter what doll, you got us always." I take a deep breath and nod my head. He helps me up as the Dr. comes and brings us into the room to get me prepped. My feet feel like there is bricks chained to them and I can't move. I feel him scoop me up and I shriek from the unexpected movement. "I got you Cass." He kisses my head, and I can hear Lily chuckle. He gently places me on the bed to sit. Doctor Novac explains everything, but my mind is foggy that I cannot concentrate on him at all.

"Come on babes, Let's get you into your gown." She helps me to the bathroom and helps me strip out of my clothes. Lil has helped me so many times that I am no longer embarrassed by it. "So, what was that with our boy out there?" I can hear her teasing tone, as I shake my head. "Nothing you know that Lil. Nate is just being Nate nothing more." She laughs as she puts the hospital gown on. I am so glad at least I get to keep my underwear on, or I would feel so exposed. "You don't see the way he looks at you Cass, I have to see it every bloody day." I will not get my hopes up. "It can never happen Lil, so please just drop it. I will not risk losing him for something that might not happen or even last. I just can't go there...please." I hear her sigh, but she does not say anything else, which I am grateful for. "You both are so damn stubborn." Okay, well I guess she had to get the last word, but I chose to ignore that comment.

"Miss Logan, are you ready?" I was so lost in thought that I stumble but feel his arms around me in an instant and I lean into him instinctively. "Ready as I will ever be." I feel his lips on the side of my face and feel my body tingle all over. "I will let your family and friends walk us towards the operating room but after that they will have to wait for you." I gulp and nod my head. I feel dizzy as Nate spins me around and I gasp because I was not expecting that.

What has gotten into him?

He grabs my hand and puts it on his face. "For old time sakes." I can feel his smile on his face as I begin to run my fingers over every inch of his face. "Good luck doll." he kisses my hand then my head. Next, I'm engulfed into Lily's arms, then my aunt and uncle's. "I'll be back okay." I giggle they act like they are not going to see me again. I'm not going to die, but that fear builds inside me. What if something goes terribly wrong? My thoughts run through my head as I lay on the bed, and they wheel me out of the room. I feel Nate's hand squeeze mine with his signature three squeezes.

"The procedure will be a few hours, so I suggest you all go out and do something and then come back." Doctor Novac says.

"I'm not leaving." I can hear the determination in Nate's voice. "Neither am I." I can just imagine Lily crossing her arms over chest in a stubborn stance, and it helps my nerves a little bit. I hear Doctor Novac laugh. How far is this operating room? It feels like it's taking forever. "You have some great friends there Cassie." I scoff and try not to laugh even as my lips twitch up into a smile.

"More like pig headed and stubborn."

"Please biatch we have to be to put up with you." We come to a stop, and I feel Lily kiss my forehead. "Good luck babes, you got this." I can hear her voice crack slightly, she is just as nervous as I am. I feel Nate's forehead against mine. "See you soon doll." I feel his lips linger on my forehead and it calms my nerves yet again.

"Hopefully I will actually see you after this." I wave at them as I get pushed into the room. They get me prepped and then I feel a hand squeeze mine and I almost think it's Nate's but get disappointed when it feels different.

"It's time Cassie, You ready?" Dr. Novac asks me.

For some strange reason this time feels different, and I can't help but smile.

"Let's do this Doc."

That's the last thing I remember before getting pulled into more darkness than I have ever felt before.