At First Sight

4. Facing Reality

Test after test, the results are still the same. My retina's have been permanently damaged. What vision I have is slowly fading away, until there is nothing but darkness.

I have been stuck in this hospital for two weeks and I'm going insane. Once I leave here I will be living with my Uncle Jeff. This is not how I imagined my life turning out. I lost my parents, I lost my sight. What's the point in all of this?

"Hey babes." I hear a soft knock before I hear her walk in. The tears start falling once again because now I cannot see my beautiful friend's smile anymore. "Oh sweetie." She engulfs me in a hug and I cling onto her for dear life. "You'll get through this. I will be with you every step of the way."

"I just need to get out of here Lil."

"Well good thing I'm springing you out of this place."

"You're lying." For the first time since all this has happened, I smile.

"Does it look like I'm lying?" My smile instantly fades and my lips begin to tremble. "Oh shit Cass, I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry." I wipe the tears that have fallen. I know it's not her fault, we all have to get use to this. "It's okay Lil it's not your fault. All of this is my fault." She pulls me into another hug but it's a short one this time. "None of this is your fault you hear me. You didn't know that drunken idiot was going to run the red light." She grabs my hands and puts them on her face.

"What are you doing Lil?"

"Well I read that some people who are blind read facial expressions. I want you to do that and tell me if I am serious or not."

I thought it was a weird request but I did as she asked. As I ran my fingers over her face, I picture the way I last saw her. But I can feel the creases in her forehead when she is serious.

"Okay, I get it." I say as I remove my hands. "Even if it wasn't my fault, I feel extremely guilty."

"Time heals all wounds."

"You really believe that malarkey Lil."

"Not sure, but I would like to believe so." I hope she is right. "Anyways let's get you out of here."

Just then a nurse walks in with Dr. Carter and my Uncle. Thanks to Lil whispering in my ear, or I wouldn't know who they were. "Well my dear, you are free to go. I gave your Uncle some recommendations to help you adjust to your new life.

Will it help with the ache in my heart?

"Thank you Dr. Carter."

"If you need anything don't be afraid to reach out to me. I am truly sorry for everything you have been through."

I just nod my head because there is a lump in my throat.

"I got some clothes for you Cass, let me help you." Lil grabs my hand and I almost stumble on my own feet. "I got you babes." I just want to cry again because this is so darn hard.

"Thanks Lil."

She helps me to the bathroom and I strip out of the hospital gown. My hands start shaking as I feel her hand me a shirt and I try to put it on.

"I can't do this Lil." I start crying again. I hate that I feel so weak. She grabs my shoulders and shakes me lightly. "Yes you can Cass. You are one bad ass bitch. You have always been one of the strongest people I know." With that she helps me put my shirt on and then next my jeans.

We walk out of the bathroom and I hear my Uncle whispering to the Doctor.

"What's going on?"

"Cass, sweetheart." My uncle says cautiously. I almost break down again, because I will never hear my mother say that to me again. "I'm sorry Cass." He pulls me into to a hug. "The funeral is going to be tomorrow." I suck in a breath, it feels like my lungs are constricting. "I would hold it off but it's been two weeks already." I nod my head because I can't be selfish.

"I understand Uncle Jeff."

"Lily will be staying with us tonight, her parents agreed to it."

I feel her grab my hand and I squeeze it. I'm thankful for my best friend. We leave the hospital and I breath in the fresh air.

"It's good to be out of there."

They help me into the car and I sit back and close my eyes. Even if it doesn't matter because all I see is darkness anyways.

"We will find the best doctors out there to see if we get your eyesight restored." My uncle says with determination. I just nod my head because I don't want to get my hopes up. "When you are ready, we will have to go over your parent's assets." His voice wavers as he speaks until he clears his throat.

I have been so consumed in my own loss that I forgot that he lost his sister and my dad, who was his best friend.

"I'm sorry Uncle Jeff."

"It's okay Cass." But it's not okay. Nothing will be okay again. We arrive at my uncle's house and Lil helps me inside. "You hungry Cass?"

"Not right now Uncle."

"Okay Lily will show you your room. She brought some stuff of yours over."

"Thank you."

Lil helps me up to my room and we get settled in. "Have you talked to Hunter?" I have to ask because he only came to visit me once. I hear her sigh, and I tense up because it doesn't sound good. "He asked about you a couple of times but that's it."

"Oh, okay. Probably doesn't want to date a blind girl anyways."

"Well then it's his fucking loss Cass."

I know she is right, but it hurts all the same. I lay down on the bed and Lil follows suit. She wraps her arms around me, and I cry myself to sleep in her arms.

This is my reality now. No parents, no eyesight and probably no boyfriend. At least I have Lil and I know nothing will separate our bond.