At First Sight

20. Things Change

I am speechless when I see him. I know what this must look like, it's not what he might think it is...or was it? No, it definitely wasn't I know that for a fact. He steps into the room just as Derek stands up straight. I don't know what is going to happen, but I do not like feeling uncomfortable like this. Nate shows no emotion whatsoever and that scares me the most. Maybe he is regretting everything now after what he just walked into, heck I don't even know what he walked into.

"I was just telling Cass." I swear I hear Nate growl lowly and snap my attention back to him. He has his hands balled up into fists. "That she needs to get some tests done. So, it will be a couple of hours before she will be back in here."

Nate laughs, but not the laugh I am so used to. This laugh is the one to hide his emotions and tell you he is trying to control his anger. "That's why you had your fucking hands on her. Don't you think that is unprofessional." I can tell he is trying to keep his cool, but I can see the slight shake in his body. Derek unfazed completely changes the subject. "I need to take her to get examined.

"I'm fucking going too." He has not even looked at me once as he steps closer to Derek, but Derek is not intimidated. "Sorry mate, but I can't let you." Nate laughs again but I'm afraid that he is going to punch Derek any minute now and I can't have that. "Nate" I try to sound strong but my voice cracks. He whips is head to me so fast that I think the man would get whiplash, he is by my side in an instant. Nate's whole demeanor changes when he sees me. "Cass" how he says my name sends shivers down my side as he presses his forehead to mine. I feel his lips on my forehead and when he looks into my eyes, he speaks with so much authority. "I'm going with her. Try and fucking stop me."

I break eye contact and look at Derek. He looks between me, and Nate and he sighs. "Fine, but you cannot get in the way." Nate takes my hand and brings it to his lips and smiles at me, but I know it is not his usual smile. He looks...hurt. He helps me up as a wheelchair comes in. I try to protest but for once both of them are on the same page about this. Nate keeps his hand in mine to whole time and squeezes it with his signature squeeze. Maybe everything will be okay. We get in the exam room and my nerves get the best of me.

"I'm right here Cass." Nate whispers in my ear as he lets go of my hand. "Cassie dear, how are you feeling?" I look at him and he has the kindest smile. I look at his features and he kind of reminds me of my grandpa when I was a kid. With his salt and pepper hair and the wrinkles in his smile. "I'm good Dr. Novac." He nods his head and pats my shoulder. We go through several tests, and I really just want to go home. Dr. Novac explains everything he is doing and shows me all the results.

"I see no reason for you not to be able to go home." I get excited until the next words come out of his lips. "Tomorrow." I hear Nate chuckle and I give him my best death glare. "You have my number if you need anything let me know. Also, if you feel any symptoms that we discussed let me know."

"Don't worry Doc, I will make sure she does." Of course, he will. Great they will be watching me like a hawk for a while. He smiles at us once more and walks out the door. I don't know how Nate convinced them, but he was able to wheel me back to my room. He tries to help me up, but I slap his hand away. I get up but of course my clumsy self-trips and I land straight into Nate's arms.

"Stop being so stubborn Cass." He chuckles as he scoops me up bridal style and lays me back down on the bed. With his hands still around me he is so close that if I just reach up, I could kiss him again. I think he feels the same way because he looks to my lips and then at my eyes. Just when I think he is going to he backs away.

"I can't" He shakes his head and steps further back. I don't understand completely. He must sense my frustration because he begins to speak. "If I'm next to you I will just want to kiss you again."

"Is that a bad thing?" I can feel my body begin to shake. I have a feeling I know where this is going.

"Yes...no, hell I don't know Cass." He runs his hands through his hair in frustration. "Okay." I know my voice is weak and I am on the verge of crying. Nate's stop pacing and is by me in a second moving my hair from my face. "Cass you are my best friend." My insecurities come back full force. I am not sure what to think right now, he is right though, he is one of my best friends. But everything changed with that kiss. Call me a naive woman but I thought that it meant as much to him as me, I guess I was wrong. He takes my hand, but I try to pull away he just won't let me.

"Cass, say something."

"I don't want to lose you." I keep my head low and try to stop the quivering in my lips. If he doesn't want me, I will have to forget this ever happened because I can't lose him. He lifts my chin up so I will look right into his eyes that have enchanted me from the moment I first laid eyes on them.

"You'll never lose me Cass."

"Then why does it feel like I'm going to lose you." The stupid tears fall from my eyes then and I hate that I am so weak. "You haven't I swear." He goes to move his hand to my cheek. but I flinch back. I know if he gets too close, I make a bigger fool out of myself and kiss him again. "Please don't." I can see the hurt look in his eyes, and it hurts me too.

"I think you should go Nate."

"Cass, don't do this...please" I can see the pain written on his face and it hurts too much. "I need time to think." I feel my eyes start to water but when I look at Nate his mirror mine. Why does it have to be like this? We screwed everything up now, didn't we. I hear him sigh as he leans over me. "I'll go, but if you need me, please call." I'll always need you and that is the biggest problem. I nod my head because words will not leave my lips at this moment, afraid I will beg him to stay when I can't. He presses his forehead to mine and kisses it as he squeezes my hand one...two...three times. I close my eyes for a moment to remember his touch, I don't know why this feels like this is it. When I open my eyes, he is gone and that's when I let the tears flow.

I lay in bed not being able to stop the hurt in my heart. I can't explain it, it feels like someone just ripped my chest right open. Realization hits me hard at how strong my feelings are for him. The thing that scares me the most is that I do not know how we can just be friends now.