Wolfstar oneshots

Lost Your Life

I'm back bitches

Wc: 1985

Tw: Depression, fighting, suicidal thoughts, suicide, death, transphobia

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Regulus always hated himself. Every moment of every day, he hated himself. But not a single of those moments could even begin to describe how much he hated himself now.

He sat alone in the dorm that he shared with his friends. There were four beds, one for Regulus, one for Pandora, one for Barty and Evan to squeeze into, and one meant for Dorcas. She hasn't slept in this room for almost a month, ever since Barty and Evan took the mark.

She was quick to say she was against it, the only one of them that had. She went to sleep in the girls dorm she was assigned to. Her, Pandora and Regulus were supposed to sleep there, Barty and Evan only filling two of the four beds. When Regulus came out, he was invited to their dorm, then Pandora followed him and Dorcas too. It was their dorm, The Skittles, people would call them.

Then Dorcas left, spending half the nights in her bed and half of them with her girlfriend. The room felt emptier, her stuff no longer accompanying the bed that she spent so many years in.

Regulus subconsciously began to rub his left forearm. He hated it. He hated himself, his body, his arm, and most of all the mark on it. He hated the damage the mark did to him, his relationship, his brain, all of him. He wanted to die, be gone, not have to deal with it.

A creak comes from behind him as he whips his head around, black hair hitting his face. It was getting too long, he needed to cut it. That was always what Dorcas would do.

"Hi, Reg." says Pandora as she enters the room. She pushes the door shut before sitting on the bed next to his, her bed. "Where are the other ones?"

"Who knows." He answers, deadpan. He had to tell her, he had to do it now. He would be able to think about it if he didn't do it now. He would push it away, pretend it doesn't exist. He couldn't pretend everything was fine, he wasn't James. He would push it away, and that's something he couldn't do. "Where were you?"

"I was with Sybill."

"Dora, I have to talk to you." He says before he can regret it, cutting her off slightly. He needed to be comforted, he needed her to take his hand and say it's all okay. He needed her.

Worry covers her eyes as she smoothes out the wrinkles in her skirt. "Yes?"

"Potter broke up with me." He decides to say. Straight up telling her 'I took the mark' would be too much. He couldn't do that.

Her eyebrows rise, her mouth forms an O. "Oh Merlin, Reg, I'm so sorry." She moves from her bed to his, interlacing their fingers together. "I'm so sorry."

"Last night-" He tries steadying his now shaky voice, trying to push back the tears that coat his eyes. "Last night he broke up with me."

"I'm so sorry." She comforts, laying her head on his shoulder. She wraps her arms around him, giving him the much needed hug he has been praying for. "Why did he do it? Do you want to talk about it?"

No, he didn't. But he had to.

"We were in a closet, the one by the Charms classroom, and we were kissing." He starts. He clears his throat a few times, trying not to let the sobs leave his throat. "We were kissing, and he went to take off my shirt."

Pandora's face wrinkled together, not in disgust but in confusion. They shared these things with each other, before Evan and Barty got together, they heard every detail of Barty's random hook-ups. It made him wonder if that's how he talked about him when they were together, years and years ago.