Wolfstar oneshots

Genderfluid

Word count:488

TW: Slight transphobia

Sirius' Pov (A/N I'm a Sirius kinny, so this is going to happen a lot):

I was cuddled under my boyfriend's chin. The full moon being a few days away he was extra cuddly. I couldn't complain with that though.

"I love you." I whispered. 

"I love you more baby." He replied.

I giggled at his competitiveness. "I doubt that."

"Baby, I love you more than life itself, you are the love of my life and the best boyfriend I could ever ask for."

I stopped giggling. I should be happy that he loves me this much, right? Then why did I hate it so much? I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. Like i was sick with the flu. Like I wanted to be anywhere but there. Like I wanted to cry, or more accurately to shrivel up and die right here.

"Sirius? Are you alright?" I heard.

I began crying, I don't cry a lot, but the word boyfriend hurt me. I should be happy that I'm his boyfriend, but that word just hurt so much.

"What's wrong?" He sounded panicked.

"I'm sorry" I began apologizing. "I'm sorry I didn't mean too."

"You're sorry for what, baby, what happened? You didn't do anything wrong!" 

"I didn't mean to cry, I'm sorry."

"what's wrong, you can tell me."

I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. " I don't know how to explain it" I began. " Sometimes when you call me your boyfriend it just hurts" His eyes widened but he didn't say anything, so I continued. " It makes me feel sick and it makes me hate myself. And it's not just when you call me your boyfriend. Like when people call me a boy in general. It feels like sometimes I'm not a boy." He just looked at me. My immediate thought was that he must be disgusted. "I mean I'm definitely a boy, don't worry I'm not like that."

He looked shocked as I said the final bit. "What do you mean 'Like that'" His shocked look slowly changed to hurt.

"I- uh" I stuttered " I don't know, I was scared I guess."

"Let me say, Sirius, its sounds like your genderfluid. Do you know that term?" He questioned. I shook my head " It means your gender changes, sometimes you feel like a boy, other times you feel like a girl, and there could be other things you feel too." He explained. 

"I like that" I said looking him in the eyes. His hand was now on my cheek, wiping leftover tears away.

"So sometimes would you like me to use different pronouns and things like that?" he asked me softly.

" Yea, today can you use she/her please?" I said as I took his hand of my cheek and folded it with my own.

"Anything for my beautiful girlfriend" he said leaning in to kiss my forehead.

My cheeks flushed pink "I love you."

"I love you more" He responded.

"I doubt that."

Aghhhh, I actually like this one! I know the way I explained dysphoria isn't how everyone gets it but all I have to describe it is how I get it. I personally really like Genderfluid Sirius and I'm questioning making more one-shot with him being genderfluid. Should I??

Have a wonderful day/morning/evening/night! Go outside and touch grass, unless your allergic to grass and then in that case don't touch it! Take care of yourself and remember how absolutely amazing you are! <3