After Never

Chapter 40

Tessa

Alex has really been trying to be a good friend to me tonight. She knows I'm hurting which is why she asked if I wanted to hangout and watch a movie tonight.

I was hoping after FaceTiming Hardin I would feel better, but I feel worse, I definitely feel worse.

'Just someone in charge of bossing me around'...the girl who's in charge of bossing him around is gorgeous. Fucking gorgeous and going to be around my boyfriend. He didn't even let me get the chance to ask more about who she is and what she's actually going to be doing.

But then again I didn't want to seem jealous or act like I don't trust him. Because I do.

It was just a lot. A lot for our first phone call since he left. And I almost felt like he pressed his button just to shut me up. Which I know isn't true but I'm in my head...I'm in my head a lot.

After dinner Alex and I decide against a movie and instead decide to watch old episodes of Jersey shore. I told her I needed something mindless and ridiculous to hopefully get my mind off things.

I know Hardin is at his party and I don't want to bother him, but I decide to text him.

Me: feel free to call me when you get home from the party. I want to hear all about it.

I wait a long time for a text back. But nothing.

"How about some wine?" Alex suggests as she walks in the room with a bottle and 2 glasses

"Ah yes please." I say reaching for the glass in her hand.

Me: how's the party? are you having fun?

A half hour passes no text back...

I decide to hit the button on my bracelet.

Nothing back...

Why am I torturing myself?...

After my third glass of wine. I decide to text him again...

Me: why are you ignoring me?

Again no response.

"I don't know how he expects this to work, if the first night he's gone...he can't even text back." I say to Alex.

"You said it was a new artist party. I'm sure they are having him do things. I wouldn't worry..." she says clearly trying to make me feel better.

"You're probably right. It's just really stressing me out. And I don't want to be worried. Because I trust him I do. But he's at a party in LA and...I can only imagine what's being thrown at him." I tell her.

"But he loves you Tess. I've never seen someone love someone more than that man loves you. I hope one day a guy looks at me like he looks at you." She says actually making me feel better.

I sit with that feeling, since it's the only thing making me feel good right now.

I finish my last glass of wine, and curl up under the blanket on the couch. I have my phone on loud so that if I fall asleep and he calls I'll wake up.

And I do I wake up, but not to his phone call. I wake up to the glass on the table shattering from accidentally kicking it with my foot.

Alex is asleep on the other couch and doesn't even budge.

I click the button on my phone and see that it's 5AM.

It's 5 fucking AM.

I have no missed texts, no missed calls, nothing...

I'm livid. Fucking livid.

So I call him. Not worrying about the glass that's shattered all over our coffee table.