After Never

Chapter 33

Hardin

I lied.

I said I was doing community service today. But instead I drove to Zed's sisters and I worked on music all day with him.

I know what you're thinking...

Why wouldn't I just tell Tessa the truth. Why did I start the day with a lie?...

Hindsight it was a bad move. But I also thought I wouldn't get caught. I was supposed to be back and then there would have been no issues.

There should have been no issues...

And there wasn't.

The day with Zed was great. I don't know what it is but him and I together making music feels right. Having my friend back feels right...and he's the one person who doesn't think I'm a total fuck.

I should have headed straight back...but I didn't.

I stopped at the accident site. I was too close not to. And again for some reason it's a place I feel drawn to.

I stood there for a long time. Taking in the new decorations around the cross, and the different flowers that are scattered around it.

"You were in the car weren't you?" I heard a familiar voice from behind ask me.

I turned around knowing it's Kaia.

I never did follow through with what I said I would for her. Truthfully I was nervous Ken would connect the dots, so I let it go.

"Yea." I replied knowing she already knew.

"That's why you come here." She said with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry..." I told her not knowing what else to say.

"You're sorry that your night out ruined my whole family's life?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm so sorry for that." I told her honestly.

"And he's out of jail...you know that right?!" She yelled as she started to cry.

"I know that had to have been hard for you and your family to hear." I told her...again not knowing what to say especially since I was just with him.

"I need you to tell me everything about that night." She practically demanded.

"I...I actually need to head back. I don't live around here anymore." I told her.

"Your friend killed my sister...and you can't even give me the time to tell me what happened?" She questioned.

I wanted to say...well you know what happened...

But I didn't...I spent the next one almost two hours telling her what happened and answering all her questions.

And I don't know what hurt more. The fact that she doesn't blame me or the fact that she said her sister would forgive us too...that....that was the type of person she was.

I barely kept it together when she said that. The guilt has been heavy. All of it has been heavy and it's almost as if she lifted this weight that has been sitting on my chest since the accident. A weight that has made it hard to breathe, and by her saying that I feel like I can breathe again. And I didn't realize how much I needed that until I had it...probably because I never thought I would get this.

While I still have a lot of blame that I carry myself. She gave me a lot tonight. More than I think she knows.

How we left things was me telling her to call me if she ever needed anything or if she had any other questions....it was the least I could do given what she did for me...