After Never

Chapter 3

Hardin-2 weeks later

Tomorrow is the day Tessa is leaving to Seattle....

Which is likely why it's 8PM and I haven't left my bed....thats been pretty much my norm for the past two weeks....but today. Today knowing she's leaving tomorrow I've been laying here wrestling with the idea that I tell her that I want to try long distance. That these last two weeks have been miserable for me. Literally fucking hell. That I miss her so fucking much. That i would rather live across the world and still know she's mine than not have her at all...

I should text her. I should ask if she wants to talk...see where her heads at, because who knows maybe I'm having all these thoughts and feel this way and maybe she's happy. Maybe she's glad we broke up...or I should go to her and tell her how I feel. Even if it means things stay the same at least I know I tried...

Just as I'm about to get up and stop being so pathetic, feeling sorry for myself...I hear a knock at my door.

A glimmer of hope comes over me...what if it's her? I think to myself.

I open my door and I am pissed when I see it's Zed staring back at me.

"What do you want?" I immediately ask.

"We should talk." He says to me.

"Why the fuck would we do that?" I question.

"Because we were best friends, you were like a brother to me and now...now we can barely look at each other." He replies.

"Probably due to the fact that you were going after my girl...." I reply annoyed.

"Tessa is an amazing person Hardin...and I was sick of seeing you treat her like shit." He replies....which immediately brings my blood to a boil.

I'm about to react...and then I replay what he just said in my head....

She is amazing...and I haven't been a good boyfriend...not even fucking close...is this life's sign telling me that she deserves to move on. That I'm not good for her...

I finally respond... "you're right." I say to him which I think sends shock through him that was how I responded.

"I am?" He questions.

"Yea...but it doesn't matter she's leaving and things could go back to the way they were." I tell him.

"What do you mean?" He questions.

"You're my boy Zed...you always have been. I'm sorry I let a girl get between us and I'm sorry for what I did to you." I tell him.

"I'm sorry too, I love you bro." He says as he pulls me in for a hug in which I give back.

"Now let's fucking party!" He yells as he walks out of my room.

Fuck. I think to myself. I guess this means I'm letting her leave. I'm lettering her leave and letting her be happy.

I look down at the clothes I've been in since yesterday. I should probably fucking shower...

It's already loud as fuck at the frat, it seems that everyone has been partying for a while.

I go down the hall to the bathroom to shower, and am met with two girls taking a shower.
"Hi Hardin" they both say to me as I walk past them into the open stall.

Fuck.

I take a shower and go back to my room and get dressed, and go back to contemplating a talk with Tessa. And again I'm snapped out of it when Zed and Jace barge in...handing me a shot.

I take it down, and realize that I'm back now. Im back. I'm fucking back. And I could do one of two things.

Be better...do better. Or go back to being the shit person I was before her. Fuck who am I kidding I was a shit person when I was with her.