After Never

Chapter 2

Tessa

I guess I don't know what I expected from him. And after 20 minutes of crying against the door of our bathroom. And realizing he hasn't once tried to come comfort me...I get up, pull myself together, and leave the bathroom.

I leave the bathroom and discover he's sleeping , he's fucking sleeping. He's passed out on our bed.

Sleeping.

I guess I'm grateful he didn't leave because that's usually his go to move. But I'm still angry.

So fucking angry. Because here's this man...this man that I love. That I love so much.

Who was just almost kicked out of school, still might be facing actual charges if Zed decides to go that route...which last time I talked with him he was leaning in that direction.

And I can't say that I blame him. Hardin beat him to a bloody pulp.

He should have consequences. But that's just it everything Hardin does...he just does. He doesn't care who he hurts and doesn't care about what those actions mean.

So why am I fighting for him, and for us when he has made it very clear we aren't on the same page and our relationship isn't worth doing long distance...

I'm not putting my dreams on hold because I know if the tables were reversed he wouldn't either. Hardin is always going to do whatever he wants regardless of what that means.

So I guess what that means is I'm leaving in 2 weeks and I'm leaving knowing we aren't going to be together...

I lay down next to him on our bed staring at the ceiling. He obviously sensed that I laid down and he turns towards me and wraps his arm around me, pulling me into him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers still with his eyes shut.

"Yea me too." I whisper back.

I'm waiting for more...because maybe there's more. Maybe he changed his mind...maybe he's willing to come with me, or give long distance a chance...

But no. Nothing. He's quiet. All that's between us is silence and heartache.

Somehow I'm able to fall asleep. And I'm woken up to the sun shining into my eyes and the smell of coffee.

I turn over and look to the kitchen and see Hardin sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee.

I sit up, and he turns his gaze towards me.

"Morning." He simply says in which I respond the same.

I get up, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth...and take a second. Looking in the mirror which has a reflection of this broken girl who I don't recognize anymore.

I know I've lost myself. This relationship has been consuming and full of pain and I know I need to go through with leaving. With doing what's best for me...but it doesn't take away the fact that I am walking away from someone who I thought I would spend forever with.

I walk out of the bathroom, walk into the kitchen and pour myself a cup of coffee. I take the seat across from him at the table.

I'm waiting for him to say something and he's clearly waiting for me to do the same.

"I'm sorry for what I said yesterday." He finally says.

"Don't be sorry...you were honest right?" I reply.

He takes a deep breath "...it's not that I don't want to be with you. That's the farthest thing from it. Because if you weren't leaving I would still want to be with you." He says and I stop him.