Touched by the Flame || Azriel Shadowsinger

Chapter 57

Soraya's heart ached a little as she lay nose-to-nose with Azriel.

The sun had yet to rise, though that time was fast approaching. At which point, he would be off to the Middle in search of the rebels. The thought alone made her frown. She wasn't ready to leave their little bubble of happy and bliss just yet.

The bedsheets were warm and soft around them. Bare skin kissing skin, and limbs tangled. Shadows swirled throughout the room.

How long would he be gone? All the while she was meant to what... sit around? Read a book, perhaps? No matter if it was a few hours he was gone, or a few days, Soraya had a feeling it would seem an eternity to her.

A thought shoved itself into her mind so abruptly that she blinked in surprise. Her heart sunk into her stomach as she peered into the warm honey of Azriel's eyes. One scarred finger gently twirled a rampant bit of her hair.

"What are you thinking?" He asked so very softly.

Soraya swallowed back the lump that rose to her throat. Tried to toss aside the realization that plagued her. The very same one that had nipped at her for months, but now sunk sharp teeth into a deep bite.

She scooted closer, and her mate tucked her close to his chest where her head fell. Listening for a moment to the beat of his heart. Her head tipped up to kiss the underside of his chin. Idly, she twirled her ring for a moment.

"I love you, Azriel," she whispered.

One side of his lips ticked up. "I love you, Raya."

The words clogged painfully in her throat. Taking everything in her to pry them free.

"But I am going to grow old one day."

Azriel went rigid. His expression shuttered, and a breath audibly lodged itself in his lungs. Those golden eyes of his fell shut.

"We don't have to talk about this." The shadowsinger touched his lips to her forehead.

Soraya sighed, resting her chin on his chest as she peered up at him. She brushed away the dark hair that had fallen into his face. She felt him soften just slightly into her touch.

"We do," she hummed.

Azriel's brows pinched, an expression of pain overtaking him. Strong arms squeezed tight around her, so much so that she couldn't wriggle free even if she wanted to. Her heart sputtered and faltered, though she hoped he couldn't feel it. 

Her throat burned, the dull ache in her chest sharpening. When faced with the bared cruelty of their fate, she couldn't help her tears. It was a harsh, horrible truth. But one they had to acknowledge sooner rather than later.

Azriel had lived far longer than she had. Just as he would continue to live on far longer than she would. There was no what if. No maybe not. No way things could go any other direction.

Azriel could be her entire life, yet Soraya was doomed to remain but a flicker in his.

Rhysand and Feyre's bargain had haunted her thoughts often since she and Azriel had secured their bond. It was a hard concept to grasp. A love so strong that they would rather die together than live a moment without the other. 

Soraya wanted a love like that. She just didn't want Azriel to die for it.

"I know we're still new to all of this, but I want you to make me a promise," Soraya continued, a tremble set in her words, "that when I am gone, you will keep living in full."

Azriel buried his face in her hair and breathed in her scent. As if storing it away for later.

"That you will find happiness wherever you can," her lip wobbled, "and no matter what happens, you will keep going."