Hot Summer Night

24 - Seraphine

Declan's left me the keys to his Navigator every day since he showed me around town to use for whatever I'd like to do, and I have yet to have the guts to leave his home and explore on my own.

Until now, I wanted to drive around and feel things I hadn't felt in a long time. But knowing I was about to take Declan's vehicle and head into town to shop, my stomach was also twisting with nervousness, and my hands shook.

I don't care to cook and can't cook to save my life. Still, after Everly had me help her bake a cake a few nights ago, and how I saw the gleaming look of heaven, love, admiration, and happiness in his eyes as he watched Everly in me, activating the nerves in my belly, I want to see if I can get that look from him again when I surprise him with one of his favorite meals.

I want to try to make it, anyway.

I also want to see if I can find some sexy lingerie. I want to stun Declan, make Declan's eyes widen, and have them bulge from his eye sockets. I want to see him excited, and so desired for me that he won't be able to peel his eyes away from me. And I want to get his heart thumping hard and fast, his dick harder than a steel pole, and see how crazy wild I can make him where he can't resist me.

All the things my heart and mind need to experience. Everything I've never been able to feel and have wished to feel.

I want to feel so wanted and needed that it'll take all my fears of Declan discarding me like a piece of trash when this is all over to wake my heart to love him again. He's expressed his love for me a few times, but I've not once returned the love. I can't. I'm afraid to. I fear if I return the love, he'll shatter my heart and my world again by leaving. And I know I'll never be able to handle it again.

I need to know that there'll be no doubt I'll still be in Declan's life once Chadwick is entirely out of my life and out of harm's way—his angry hands and black soul.

I also need to buy more books. Because I've locked myself in Declan's home, refusing to leave, fearing I'll be captured, I've read the same ten books I brought along multiple times.

Thanks to the government, I can buy everything I want today without being told I'm not allowed to.

But before I went anywhere, I wanted Declan to know I was heading out—just in case he stopped home and saw I was gone, worrying him. It was also to warn him that if I never returned, I was kidnapped.

After messaging him, I tied my hair up into a tight bun, put on a red-colored wig, adjusted the hair so it looked normal, lined my lips with deep red lipstick, and then I got dressed in the Crimson Tide college football outfit Declan bought for me. It was something I'd never wear since I'm not into sports, but it was cute. I looked cute...

Declan: Please keep in touch with me occasionally while you're out so I'm not worrying about you the entire time. And please make sure to have your piece on you.

I needed to do this for myself. I needed to end my fears about Chadwick finding me since there was no way he'd know I was with Declan. He monitored my phone and me the entire time we were together, so he should know I've never been in contact with him. And I'll keep my fingers crossed the whole time I'm out running around that he or his army of men won't find me.

Me: I will—about both things. I promise.

I grabbed the map Declan had drawn off my dresser and headed out. When I left his driveway, my nerves were bombarded with feelings—freedom, nervousness, fear, and excitement, just to name a few. This was the first time in thirteen years I could venture out alone without him with me, without one of Chadwick's men, Marla, or someone watching my every move. Except for checking in with Declan and letting him know I was safe, I can shop without someone knowing and seeing where I am at all times. And it felt fan-fucking-tastic.