Pippy's Poetry

Conflicting feelings

I long for a touch
But fear holds me back
A simple gesture
Is all that I lack

My skin aches for warmth
A gentle caress
But I'm paralyzed
By my own distress

I want to feel wanted
To know I'm adored
But my mind convinces me
I'll just be ignored

Words of affection
Make my heart swell
But I struggle to believe
That they're true and real

I yearn for connection
But I'm afraid to reach out
What if I'm rejected?
What if I'm not enough?

I want to give and receive
Tokens of love
But I fear being seen
As selfish, not enough

I crave for the comfort
That physical touch brings
But my anxiety prevents me
From spreading my wings

So I stand in the shadows
Hiding my desires
Wishing for someone
To ignite the fire

To break down my walls
And make me feel safe
To show me that love
Is not something to chase

But until that day comes
I'll continue to hide
Holding my own hand
And finding peace inside

For I know that someday
I'll find someone who sees
The love and affection
That I have to release.

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My dad always called me Mary, Mary quite contrary. So, this is loosely inspired by that and my own, personal feelings towards that.