Marvel angst one-shots

not important (wandanat)

In this Nat and Wanda, we're dating before you guys were all dating and you're insecure about it. Italics are readers thoughts. 

TW's: Self-harm, negative self-talk, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts. Please please please if this bothers you do NOT read. there will be more chapters out soon or go read another book bc my writing is not worth your mental/physical health

(Cross posted in my angst and wandanat book :))

Why? That's all I can think about when the topic of my relationship comes up. They seemed happy without me before why would they want me there. Perhaps its because they felt bad, or its on a dare, or they're doing it to mess with me but there is no way I just heard them correctly.

"Y/n? You okay?" Wanda asks snapping me from my thoughts. 

"You love me?" I confirm.

 "Yeah. We don't expect you to say it back or anything-" Nat says but I cut her off.

"Oh no I love you guys too. Really." And I smile because I know its true. Even if this is all a joke these women have me wrapped around their fingers. They seem happy and we kiss.

Later that night. 

'Nonononono' I say trying to stop a string of thoughts. 'They would've been better off without me.' I think seeing the blood mix with shower water after i slice open the skin on my thighs seeing how much i could handle without pulling away. 

I finish my shower just putting some band-aids over the cuts and some black sweatpants just incase. I get out of the bathroom to find Wanda and Nat on my bed.

"Hey?" I say not expecting to see them there and a bit scared they knew what was going on behind the door.

"Hey detka." Nat smiles and I sigh in relief because there is no fake sympathy behind it. 

"Hey" I relax on the bed next to them.

"You okay babe? Your head is noisy and I can't decipher what you're thinking" Wanda says

"Fine just tired" I saw remembering she can read minds including my own. She doesn't look like she believes me and so I do just try to fall asleep not long after.

When I wake up I'm back alone again and would've thought it was all a dream if not for a note Natasha left.

Hey sorry, Wanda and I had to leave for a mission we needed to go to right away and didn't want to wake you since communication is open and you looked so peaceful. We'll be back in two weeks <3

 I read the note and decide to go back to bed since I have nothing to do. When I wake up once more its 3p.m. and I still don't want to get up. Usually when I'm like this Wanda or Natasha comes in and we go for a walk or out to eat but since they aren't here there's no point. Since they aren't here to drag me out of bed I'm gonna take advantage of that.

Do you think they're lying. They could just need time away from you. Remember what they used to be like before they made you think you were loved, which you aren't. Even if they are on a mission you weren't called on to it with them. You aren't even useful to the team.

My thoughts say. Just then my stomach rumbles.

Wow useless and money wasting. Aren't you just great. 

I decide then no food unless absolutely necessary.

The next day I don't get out of bed till 7p.m. Just to shower and then go watch some TV and end up falling asleep. The next few days go like that or I don't get out of bed at all too lazy to go eat or shower or even plug my phone in. I do try to get up for the most part not wanting Natasha and Wanda to think I'm useless and need them for everything. I don't eat at all too tired to even have an appetite.