Marvel angst one-shots

Peters friend

This was a request so I hope they enjoy it. In this you are Peters friend and you start to struggle with your mental health.
Tw' s: sh, Ed, depression, bullying, and suicidal thoughts

ALSO HOLY SHIT THIS BOOK HIT 8.5K READS THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH I LOVE YOU MWAH

"C'mon y/n we gotta goooo." Peter complains as I'm getting ready for school and he is waiting outside my door.

"Stop rushing me!" I say back. I quickly rewrap my arm from yesterday and pull on a sweatshirt. I walk out my room and Peter looks at me confused.

"It's ninety degrees out. Why are you wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants?" He questions.

"Do you want me to go back in there." I question and he shakes his head before we leave.

We walk to school sharing a pair of earbuds and not talking much. The walk to school from the apartments is about fifteen minutes (Pretend peter and y/n live 15 mins away from the school) and we arrive just as the bell for first period rings. Peter and I both have Chem first so we go there and sit next to each other.

I really don't feel good. I'm tired and already want to go home. These past couple months have been hell.

Do you know what it's like to have this voice in your head criticizing your every move. 'dont eat that', 'why would you say it like that', 'they don't care stop talking'. Mine never shuts up.

I'm bored of it. Of living. Of acting like I'm fine. Of being this stressed while also not feeling it at all. Or anything for that matter.

I zone back into school realizing I'm now in Math which is fourth block. My mind must've stopped for a minute there. After math I go to lunch and sit next to Peter, MJ, and Ned. I put my head on table and close my eyes.

"Y/n?" Peter questions. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I mumble. "Just tired." I tell him.

"You're always tired now." Ned says.

"Sorry." I apoligize.

"It's fine. it's just-" He starts. "Are you okay... You seem... Out of it lately" he says struggling with his words.

"Fine." I reply with enough force to stop the conversation there and let me sleep. Peter wakes me up to go to study hall and we head there. I ask for a bathroom pass two minutes in per usual and the teacher doesn't care even though we both know I'm not coming back until the period is over.

I go to the bathroom and dismantle my pencil sharpener I keep in my bag for this exact reason. I need to feel something. Even if its pain its something and that's all I need right now.

As the blood runs down my arm I feel myself breathe and look at it as if caught in a trance. I quickly use paper towel to wipe it up before it hits any surfaces and hold some pressure to it before smacking a band-aid on and calling it a day. 

When I get home my parents still aren't home. I feel too tired to make dinner for myself even after not eating all day so I just go to my room and attempt my homework. Peter texts at somepoint but I don't answer. I just lay down to sleep. 

I wake up at three in the morning due to falling asleep earlier and know I won't be falling back asleep. I decide to hit the 24 hour gym instead and luckily not many people are there. The ones who are give me weird looks considering Im a sixteen year old in a gym at 3a.m. but I'm left alone otherwise.  

I start to get lightheaded and remember how I didn't eat yesterday or the day before so i head home around 4:30 to take a shower and find Peter in my apartment