Essence

Chapter 33: Family Fissures

~ Trigger Warning: Vanessa talks about why she wanted to end her life ~

Dayveonne's POV: Waiting for Vanessa

I was pacing around, waiting anxiously for her. I couldn't wait to hold her in my arms again. She was doing so great with her recovery. I was so proud of her. I made her a few new bracelets. This time I used lime green seashells to symbolize her recovery. I was twiddling with them, then I saw her. Her smile brightened up the hallway. I wanted to run to her and hold her and never let go, but I remained calm, and let her come to me. I didn't want to cause a scene. I knew she wouldn't like that.

"Vannie, I missed you so much." I gushed as I pulled her into a hug.

"I missed you too, Day-Day, so, so much." She giggled as she hugged me back.

I sighed happily, deepening the hug and feeling the warmth of her body. I wanted to cry tears of joy. I felt like I was going to explode. I didn't know how to express these feelings at once, so I slowly broke the hug.

"I-I-I made you new bracelets. These are lime green because they symbolize recovery for mental health issues." I chuckled nervously.

"Are you nervous, baby?" She teased as she opened the bag.

"K-Kinda. It's been three weeks without seeing you." I admitted.

She put her arms around me before sighing and caressing my face lightly.

"I missed getting to look at this face all the time." She pouted.

"I've been staring at pictures of you a lot, j-j-just missing you." I muttered.

"You love me." She snickered.

"Of course I do. And you love me." I grinned.

"Of course I do." She beamed before kissing me.

Gosh, just kissing her brought me into a euphoric place. She made me so happy, and I can't even explain how. I slowly took off her old bracelets, looking at her for reassurance, but she grinned lightly and nodded. As I took off the bracelets, I heard some of the friend group gasping lightly. I looked at her again to see her reaction, but she was staring back at me. Her gorgeous eyes practically put me in a trance. I cleared my throat lightly as I put on the new bracelets, causing her to giggle lightly. I twiddled with her fingers, then we approached the friend group.

"Vanessa!" Everyone beamed as they ran to hug her.

"Don't tackle me." Vanessa teased.

Everyone practically bombarded her with "I missed you" and all the drama she's missed, even though I've constantly caught her up with everything that's happened.

"I guess I should explain to you guys why I was hospitalized." Vanessa muttered.

"You don't have to tell us anything you don't feel ready or comfortable telling us," Manny comforted.

"I'm ready to say everything," Vanessa replied as she sat down.

I sat down behind her, sitting on the table, so she was in between my legs, and I put my arms around her, then kissed her cheek, causing her to blush.

"I've missed those." She whispered as she looked up at me.

"Well, don't worry, you're back now, and there will be more of those to come." I smirked before kissing her cheek again.

"Alright, let me start from the beginning. A little while ago, my parents found out about my depression. I didn't tell them because I didn't exactly feel depressed, nor did I feel like I had a reason to be depressed. This brought up some issues they had in their relationship, and now they're getting divorced and blame me and my depression for it. That made me feel worse, s-s-so I started self harming... I did a lot of things I regret. Day found out about it, and I ended up starting therapy. It was working for a bit... until it stopped working. My mom was constantly telling me it was my fault. I ended up relapsing... The night I did that, I came up with a plan to end my life. M-M-My mom had painkillers from a recent surgery, and I planned to overdose. B-But I knew I couldn't do that without saying something, so I went to Day's house. I ended up telling him I relapsed. My new therapist says that it's because deep down I didn't want to end it all, and that I knew he could save me. I was going to leave, then Dayveonne stopped me. I told him how I wanted to end my life, and he brought me to the hospital." Vanessa explained.