I Want a Child Not a Wife

76- The Memories He Had

" Is that Fiona?" I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts by Jane's voice. Shit! She was going to start thinking things.

" I'm, it's…" I couldn't even form words to say to her, what do I say to a woman whom I'd been trying to mend things with when she caught me staring at the picture of another woman?

" Do you still miss her?" She asked and just by the way  she sounded I knew that I had just fucked things up.

" Look Jane it's not what you think," how did that even sound to my own ears?

" You don't have to explain things to me," she said with a shrug and I didn't like that one bit.

" You're making conclusions that aren't true," I tried to explain,

" I just said you don't have to explain anything to me, Markus, it's your life, you don't have to answer to me, pictures are a way to connect to people we miss, they're memories, we wish they were here even if they hurt us, so it's okay," No it was not, she wasn't even looking at me, how could it be okay.

" I'm hungry, I'll be in the kitchen," she said as she started walking towards the door, I needed to do something real fast, or I'll be back to square one.

" That was just a goodbye," I said and fortunately for me she stopped but didn't turn back.

"Pictures indeed are what we hold onto, this is the last picture I have of her and I was just about to delete it but I got lost in my thoughts thinking that maybe all that happened was for good, what if we had ended up together but our marriage never worked, or she turned me into a whole new person that made me carry her order without complaint, I told you last night that after what she did to me, you're the first person I've talked to about her, I just bottled everything in, but after last night, I felt like it was time to let go, I woke up this morning and burnt every single picture I have of her, I got it off my chest, and now I'm going to let go of this last picture,"

As I said, I clicked delete on my laptop and then I deleted the image.

I waited for her to turn and look at me but she didn't.

" Jane," I called her but she didn't turn. I was about to walk to her when she turned to me and she had tears in her eyes.

" Come on, don't do this to me," I said as I walked to her and walked her back to my chair where I sat and made her sit on my lap.

" I've told you I hate it when you cry," I said as I wiped the tears that were in her eyes.

" It was just sad, you must have really loved her, and she hurt you so badly, you must have really gone through a lot.

" I'm okay now, you make me okay," I said as I planted a kiss on her head.

" Let's go get you something to eat," I said as we both got up and made our way to the kitchen.

" Will you cook today too?" She asked me and I couldn't help but smile.

" Are you already addicted to my cooking," she chuckled as we entered the kitchen and I told her to sit while I went to make pancakes.

When the pancakes were ready I served it and was surprised at how much syrup Jane poured. I didn't dare try to question her or I was going to get a taste of her pregnancy mood swings.

" I'm the best cook there is right?" I asked her as I added another pancake to her plate and she gave me that happy smile I always cherish.

" There's something you have to do for me," I suddenly said but she didn't pay me any attention. She just continued with her food so I just waited for her to finish. One thing I know is that never mess up with a pregnant woman when she's eating, if you've finally decided to die make the mistake of joking with a pregnant woman and her food.

When I knew that she now had my attention I decided to tell her what I've been wanting to talk to her about since that message yesterday.

"So are you going to pay attention now?" I asked her as she turned to look at me, her attention fully on me.

" What do you want to talk about?" She asked.

" I want you to avoid going out for a while, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to restrict your movement or anything like that, it's just that it's not safe for you out there now, what I'm I even saying, the fire took place in this house, all I want to say is that you should be extra careful, I worry about you every second," I knew I wouldn't rest till I find who was responsible for that fire, especially since the person dared to send Jane a threat message.

" I'm going to be fine, there's absolutely nothing to worry about, as long as you're with me I'm fine," she said as her soft hands rubbed my chin and I felt like I had everything in the world.

" Surprise!!" Our calm was suddenly disturbed. Didn't I do away with this girl, what did she want here?

" Sofia?!" Jane asked in surprise as she turned to me, I had already broken things off with her.

" What are you doing here?" I asked her as she came close to me trying to hug me but I pushed her away.

" Don't fucking touch me,"

" Come on, I'm your girlfriend, remember?"

" We broke up,"

"Well you broke up with me but I didn't, we're not over yet, you said you didn't want to date me anymore because I had other men, but now I've left them all for you,"

" I didn't ask you to," I said as I was beginning to get angry, and Jane just watched us not saying anything, whenever she was quiet like this it got me worried.

" I won't tell you again, get the hell out of my house,"

" Why?! So you can go to this snitch, she was so desperate to have you to herself she went ahead to spill something she promised me never to speak, I wish she had just died," she said in anger pointing towards Jane. At first, I didn't comprehend what she said until the words registered.

" What the fuck did you just say?"