The Perfect Soldier

Elf

~Layla's Pov~

After that night that he read through the notebook he avoided me... It's been about a week but it felt even longer.

I felt guilty for getting so mad at him... but I couldn't bring myself to apologize. I know that I said hurt him.

I kept to myself and mainly spent my time in the gym or in the shooting range. Horangi was always willing to step in so I had supervision while shooting.

Every morning that I would get breakfast I would see König sitting alone at a table in the corner of the mess hall. I wanted to sit with him and apologize but after what he read in the notebook he probably didn't see me in the same way anymore...

-

I woke up the next morning and got ready for the day. I made my way down to the mess hall and got in line to get food. As I turned around we made eye contact...

The look in his eyes was different... he didn't have the same neutral look in them, they almost broke my heart as I looked away and back down to my food tray...

Once I got my food I took a deep breath and made my way over to his table... I sat down in silence and just kept my eyes on my food.

After a few moments I felt him look at me... it wasn't for long, but I could feel it in my stomach.

We stayed silent as we both picked at the food on our trays. It was awkward... but neither one of us could bring ourselves to speak...

After I was done eating I picked up my tray and stood up to throw my trash away.

You fucking idiot... That was awkward as hell... Why didn't you try to say something, anything?

I set the tray down and walked towards the door. I couldn't take the silence anymore... fuck he must hate me now...

I made my way into the gym and decided to just run for the day. That was the only thing that helped in moments like this...

The rest of the day was quiet. Nothing eventful, nothing bad, but also nothing good either.

I did a lot of thinking and realized just how much pressure I put on König and with how I acted this morning I fell like I made it worse for him...

I should have just left him alone. I'm the one that told him to leave me alone and yet I couldn't hold myself to my own words.

The look in his eyes this morning was horrible... he looked so... sad... like I hurt him...

I'm just making it worse on him... I should just leave him alone... I'm sure the whole notebook thing really got to him.

Not only because of the graphic writing but also because of the pictures... god... I'm such an idiot...

If I would have kept everything together I wouldn't be in this situation right now... and he wouldn't be upset.

I shook my head as I ran and just tried to calm myself down. There's no point in anymore. Just get through each week one day at a time...