Sunflower || JJ Maybank/Cassandra Routledge

24. Pogue In Kooks Clothing

Midsummers 5.03

They really are alike. They are both hotheads. They don't back down from a fight, no matter who it's with. And they never know when to keep their mouths shut. No matter what, they are the ones the rest of the Pogues have to look out for.

Time freezes and the bustling world goes silent as Casey stands there. It is incredibly difficult to grasp how she is feeling as she is forced to watch the truck slowly drive down the street. Sadness, anger, frustration, helplessness, it crashes in like a large wave against the shore. She just watched JJ, her best friend, the boy she is falling hard for, get brutally attacked and she could not stop it. Nothing she could have done would have prevented it from happening. Just like him, she had to bear it. The abuse may not have been directed toward her, but she felt every single punch. Every awful word she heard, cut through her like a sharp knife. And now, as the truck disappears from view, she can still see it clear as day. She can still see JJ slouched in the passenger seat while his father towers over him.

It takes her a few minutes to move from the sidewalk due to it feeling impossible to take a single step. She fears what will happen when JJ and Luke get home. If he just abused his own son in front of the police station, what is he going to do when they are alone?

As the tears continue to stream down her cheeks, somehow she musters enough energy to start walking. She turns completely around, and heads in the opposite direction. But, as soon as she rounds the building, she slams her fist against the outer wall. She can't take it anymore. The running, the fighting, the sadness, the chaos has all become too much for her to handle. And unfortunately, the only way she can get it out is to physically hurt herself.

She doesn't want to feel this pain, but right now, she needs some inkling of power in her own life. She needs something she can stop. So eventually, when she sees red on the white brick, she finally feels the control she is so desperately craving. Her hand definitely hurts, but it is nothing compared to the pain her heart feels. As if a switch in her mind flips, when she looks down, seeing her knuckles all bloody, it doesn't trigger any response. Not a single concern for her own well being. She can't think of herself right now. Hell, she can't think of herself anymore. She has to worry about everyone else, so why is right now different? Why should a bloodied hand worry her when her brother is missing and her best friend is barely conscious?

Finally, now that she has let the frustration out, Casey takes a deep breath and begins walking down the street. She doesn't know where she is going, only that she can't go home. DCS could be waiting for her, and who knows, maybe Rafe is there as well. She can not be alone right now, not in the state she is in. But, the only problem, all of her friends are going through something. John B is possibly in police custody, or sitting in a waiting room, getting ready to be shipped off to foster care. JJ is obviously battling his own demons and his father is not going to let her get anywhere near him. Pope is most likely getting yelled at for what happened and Kiara is bound to be back on Figure Eight. She has no one right now. No one she can turn to.

But, knowing it is a bad idea to head in the direction of the one person she is terrified of, Casey starts walking toward the Kook neighborhood. JJ told her to leave. He told her to go somewhere where she won't be alone, so Kiara is the only one she can turn to. She is the only one who has the chance to talk, even if it is slim to nothing.

Unfortunately, because she is struggling to keep herself from doing anymore physical damage, it takes her a while to get to her friend's house. She pauses when she turns down the side street and looks up at the large house. It is nothing compared to the other Kook mansions but it makes the Château look like a shack, especially with the white picket fence outlining the yard and the large SUV sitting in the driveway on the side of the house. She has never felt jealous of what Kiara has but the juxtaposition is incredibly hard to swallow and she has to take a deep breath in as she slowly unlatches the gate, closing it behind herself. She slowly makes her way up the porch staircase and walks the length of the house to the front.