Colliding Hearts

Chapter 24

Sanem POV

"Oh! Ouch" I flinch in pain. I swear under my breath: "Shit." The pain is concentrated and intense.

I've been taking chest and arm physical therapy for 5 days, and every-time its painful. For now, we are concentrating on the upper body and once my tibia has fully recovered, in about 2 months, I will begin lower body therapy. I must admit, I want to strangle my therapist when he rotates my chest for lateral twists. It's worth mentioning that my therapist is man, and Can scorns when he is near me. I'm giggling thinking of his reaction when Hazan touches me.

"Take another deep breath, we need to do another count of ten for this stretch" Hazan instructs.

I take a deep breath and he raises my arms above my head. I feel pain in my triceps and chest. I close my eyes and bite my lips, trying to hold a curse that is fighting to come out. After the 10 count he releases me from the pain. Ah screw it "Fuck" I murmur.

"Great job. Now let's do it again."

I give him a stern face. I know I'm being difficult but these exercises are really hard.

Now I lay here in the hospital, eagerly waiting the day when I can finally go home. Right now its 5:45pm and Can will be arriving soon. Since I've woken up he has faithfully continued to spend every night by my side, and our bond has deepened in way I never thought it could. In the quiet hours of the night, he has bared his soul to me, sharing his deepest fears and cherished dreams. He has trusted me with secrets about himself that remain hidden to the rest of the world.

"Do you miss your mother?" I ask him while caressing his face.

He sighs and thinks for a minute "I miss having a mother but not Huma. She is not my mother. I was abandoned and separated from Emre when I was a child. She was bitter because dad ensure he had a better lawyer and she could take all his money. Even her alimony wasn't what she wanted. Huma is selfish and not someone I want around me or the people I love." He kisses my palm.

"I wish I could go back in time and comfort that child. Tell him that he is not alone and that he is loved." I hold Can hands tightly "Know that I'm here for you. You're stuck with me." I smirk.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Enough about me. Tell me about today and what you told the cops about the accident."

"Two cops came today and they questioned me to get my written statement. I explained that I went to the boardwalk to enjoy the night and that I was planning on meeting Ayhan. While waiting for Ayhan, Polen shows up holding a gun. She shoves me in the car and then starts driving like a mad woman, speeding and swerving through traffic on the freeway. Then she said that she wanted to kill me and panic took over me. So I pulled on the steering wheel and Polen pulled back. At one point, I pulled too hard and the car lost control. W-we went off the road, I was so scared. I remembered seeing trees and bushes before everything went dark." I cry. "It's all my fault. I almost killed us." I'm overwhelmed with guilt. Tears were falling down my face.

He takes my head in his hands "Love, it is not your fault. Polen is not in the right state of mind. You were simply trying to protect yourself, and had you not taken action, the outcome could have been much worse." He pauses for a moment before adding, "You might not have survived. Please understand...It's not your fault." His big brown eyes rimmed with sadness.

I nod and snif. "I love you."

"I love you too"

I pout my lips so he can kiss me.

----***----

Today is finally the day!

The doctor signs my discharge papers and hands me some pills, gauze, and antibiotic lotion. The nurse then arrived with a wheelchair, as my right foot is in a cast and my ribs are still fractured. I'm requiring assistance to leave the hospital. The doctor informed me that it may take approximately 5 months for me to fully recover. My parents and Ayhan are present with me, while Can is currently at the agency handling business. Today, Mackennon, the owner of a major beauty company, is visiting, and it is crucial for the agency to secure this client. Although I miss Can today, he has made his loss more bearable when he called me this morning and an hour ago. He also sent me a lovely new wildflower arrangement to celebrate my last day in the hospital.

"I'm rolling out of here." I say in a sing song way as the nurse pushes me out of the room. "I can finally go home, eat my moms food, write in peace, and walk around the mahalle. I'm rolling out of here." I sing out again.

"Shut up silly" Ayhan laughs as she walks besides me.

"It's me and rollies. Think you can handle it?" I ask Ayhan as I tap my wheelchair

"Sit down and be quiet," replies Ayhan.

We arrived at the mahalle, a wave of excitement swept through the neighborhood, people ran out pouring out of their homes to welcome me. It made me so emotional seeing everyone outside cheering and clapping as the car stopped in front of our home. Osman helped me get down from the car and to the wheelchair. I felt like a princess waving to the crowd as Osman guided me towards my home. As soon as we passed the threshold I was overwhelmed with emotions. Tears streamed down my face, the weight of the past two weeks crashed down on me. My mom rushed to console me "my beautiful baby. You are home and you are safe. She can't hurt you anymore. Now, let's turn that frown upside down, my little bird. I've prepared your favorite, manti and chicken sarma" she smiles lifting my spirits.

At that moment my stomach growled, I laugh. "I am hungry."

Since I won't be able to walk till my tibia is recovered I will be reliant on a wheelchair for a month, and then walk on clutches. This is uncomfortable because I need someone to carry me upstairs to where the kitchen and to my room are. It's frustrating to know that I won't have the freedom to escape my home when I want to. I'm going to go crazy with my mother's watchful eye and my dad's crazy antics.

I finish eating and go to my room, my mother tries to follow me "mom please I don't need you to follow me around. The wheelchair is pretty easy to maneuver."

I get to my room and I feel a sense of relief. I lay on my bed and decide to take a nap, today has been exhausting.

----***----

I hear a gentle knock on my bedroom door, and Leila peeks in. "I wanted to talk to you. How are you feeling?"  she asks, her voice filled with shyness. I motion for her to come in as I slowly sit up, and she clears her throat before reaching out to hold my hand. "I talked to Can and I want to talk to you. I feel so guilty Sanem. I feel like I caused all this, my greed almost brought your death."

"Leila. No it didn't. Polen is crazy. Please don't let her take away your peace. Polen's actions were her own choice so don't put that on yourself." I respond, my voice filled with a mix of compassion and understanding.

She releases a sigh of relief "I feel so much better now after having this conversation. It was tearing me apart."

"Can you promise me that you will let go of this guilty?"

She nods "I promise."

Witnessing my sister experience these emotions was like looking at myself in the mirror. Even though I wasn't responsible for the accident. I, too, need to remind myself to let go of this burden.