Sha'Carri Richardson
______
I made the executive decision to end my season early. After coming last in both of my races yesterday, I realized that I need to stop.
I just need a break.
A'ja got me a plane ticket, and I left in the middle of the night. So, I'm in LA with her just until I can get back right.
I don't know how long that'll be.
I unshared my location with Jermaine, so he can't find me. He got blocked on everything too, so he can't contact me either.
Hopefully it stays that way.
"Talk to me, you don't wanna be bothered or something?" A'ja asked snapping me out of my thoughts
"No, I was just thinking. What you say?"
"I asked if you was hungry" she said before I shook my head no, "You straight?"
"Yeah, why?" I chuckled while forcing myself to smile. Forcing yourself to smile has gotta be the hardest thing ever.
"Cause you just quiet, you been quiet ever since I picked you up from the airport"
"Oh, I'm sorry" she gave me a confused look before I did the same, "What?"
"You not giving me — you. Like, where Sha'Carri at?" she asked while holding a stern look on her face
"I'm here, I'm just chilling"
"You may be chilling, but you damn sure ain't here. What's wrong with you, did something happen?"
We just sat there looking at each other. I'm trying to debate if I should tell her of lie. As much as I wanna lie, I don't think I can.
I'm not gone feel right just sitting in her face knowing something's wrong.
"I don't know how you gone react, but don't flash out on me" she gave me another confused look as if I spoke in Spanish
"Why would I flash out on you?"
"Because I don't like women, but I'm attracted to you"
"I knew that already before we started talking. You tryna tell me you still in a relationship while you messing with me?"
"No, I'm single I ain't lie or nothing. He just um — It's just that he —" I stopped because it hard for me to just come out and say it
It's hard.
"He what, he still wanna be with you?"
"No — he put his hands on me" I said before her eyes widened and she grabbed me
"Like, hit you?" I nodded before she just sat there looking at me shockingly, "Wait, you still be talking to him?"
"Yeah, but don't be mad cause it's not in that way. When I run from him, he find a way to find me"
"Sha'Carri you suppose to tell somebody, you know people die from domestic violence?"
"I know that, but he said he gone kill me if I tell. Even if he get locked up, he gone kill me when he out"
"No, Sha'Carri" she said while getting up and grabbing her phone, "We calling the police"
"A'ja, no you ain't getting it. He dead ass, for real"
"He want control of you, and you letting him. If you keep letting that nigga do it, he gone beat you to death"
She continued to talk before I eventually gave in. I called the police and gave them all of his information.
I regret it.
I regret it.
"You ended the season to get away from him?" A'ja asked before I nodded, "This shit is crazy"
"I'm sorry"
"Wha — okay stop apologizing for nothing. You ain't got nothing to be sorry for"
"He gone find me and make me go back with him. When I went out of town for work he popped up. I left with him"
"Man this shit making me mad as fuck. You should've been told me, so I could help" she said before sighing
"I'm sor —" I stopped myself before she could and she just looked at me, "Can we just talk about something else?"
"Yeah, I'm finna go change my clothes cause I got practice. I want you to come with me" she said before I just nodded
She went in her closet and found something to put on before changing her clothes. I just scrolled on my phone while trying to tune on reality.
I can wait for this entire situation blow over, so that I don't have to worry about. I've been living in fear and didn't even notice.
A'ja right, if I didn't say nothing he was gone beat me to death. I'm just scared of what's to come and how everything gone play out.
What if they don't believe me?
What if he lie on me and I get in trouble instead?
It's so many ways that this can go, I'm just hoping it go the right way. He's so sickly calculated he might not even be the one to kill me.
He got homeboys who murder for fun.
They didn't even respect me when we were together. So, imagine if he give them the green light.
They gone have a blast with me, and I'm not gonna be able to defend myself. I put myself in this situation, and now I'm stuck.
If my family knew what was going on it'll be the other way around. He would be getting his ass beat.
"Sha'Carri —" A'ja semi yelled causing me to jump out of fear, "You good, like for real?"
"Yeah, yeah I was in my head"
"I'm finna call out of practice cause you scaring me . You can't keep zoning out like that"
"No, I'm okay"
"You sure?" she asked again for confirmation before I nodded. She was just staring at me in denial and it felt awkward
"I'm sure, and you can't miss practice"
"Next time you do that shit just know —" I cut her off because it's no need for nothing extra
"It's cool, I'm cool, everything good. I'm ready whenever you are"
She just wouldn't stop staring at me. I guess she just genuinely don't believe me, but I'm okay.
I'm okay, right?
