Truth In Trust

PART ONE Pages 88-98

4:41 P.M., FRIDAY, JANUARY 8TH

The nightmares have disappeared. But that doesn't mean that's good info. And if it is, it is mildly so. I have been having problems with insomnia, and I have no doubt tonight will be the same. You see, when I was younger, I used to either have to deal with nightmares or insomnia. It might sound like the latter is better, but they're equally as bad as each other. I had leaned towards the reasoning that it was genetic, and one of my parents had those difficulties. But, it turns out that it was due to PTSD, which is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, from my father's sudden absence in the home. It actually makes more sense from that angle, since I hadn't dealt with this problem earlier than the age of ten.

Now I'm back to square one, having to cope with the reality of the situation with Noah. Why do men sometimes seem to be so untrustworthy? I know Noah is different, set apart, a lion prince among hyenas. But I also imagine that many other girls my age put their crushes or love interests on tall pedestals, and I most likely am no different. However, I'm confident this is more than a crush.

He feels like my soulmate, handpicked by God to be my lifelong partner. He even has a biblical name!! All I know is I can not give up on him. Not now; not yet; not ever. He is obviously especially special, there's no denying it. My heart burns hotter than inside the fiery furnace Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were placed in millennia ago at the thought of the sheer idea of losing Noah, my protector and Quiver Boy.

Only time will tell.

20 MINUTES LATER, ON THE FRONT STEPS OUTSIDE MY DWELLING

I am just writing some poetry about normal, arbitrary things, minding my own business, when Noah walks by. For a moment, it feels as if time stops altogether. His face turns beet red and the revelation that he might actually be ashamed of the way he has treated me recently hits me like a pound of soft yet heavy feathers. My heart flutters furiously at the sight of him before me again, this time because of a mixture of fear and anticipation. We both stand here like two lost and confused chicklets.

My mind rushes to find the words, but no matter what comes up, only soundless air escapes my mouth. I start to feel my face heat up at the notion of us being on good terms once again. Maybe I should say something. But what? Nothing I say could change what happened a couple days ago. But, nonetheless, I have to try.

Before I can speak, though, Noah beats me to it.

"Marisa, I- I just wanted to properly apologize; I'm sorry. . . For the way I treated you. You deserve much, much, much better, and I fully understand if you want to end this friendship we have." My heart melts into a puddle at how sheepish and genuine he looks, while being embarrassed. No, more like while being humble, actually.

"Noah. I just have to say that I was really shocked by your recent behavior. But. As someone who cares about you, I know you're going through your own things. I just want to make sure you are a-okay." I respond whole-heartedly.

"And that's no excuse! Like I said, you deserve much better! Hence, why you're actually forgiving me. Thank you, Marisa, for helping to calm the storms in my life."

"Of course. But, I just want to know. . . What exactly is going on?"

"My parents sent in an early application form to a prestigious art school. As you can see, I didn't bother to memorize the name" he reveals to me, half forlorn and half annoyed at the idea.

"That's terrible! But why?" I exclaim, truly concerned.

"Let's just say they think NCH is a bad influence on me. Ridiculous, am I right?"

"Definitely!! You have to find a way to change their minds! NCH is very blessed to have you, and. . . I need you!!" I lower my voice on those last three words.