Coffee Conversations

35- Dying embers

Being at home has never felt like this.

It has always been a place where I can relax, where I am accepted and loved for exactly who I am. But this weekend, this visit is nothing short of hell. The rigidity in my posture is something I can't shake and my hands seem to tremor with every movement.

Amyas throws me encouraging glances every now and then from across the dinner table, and that gives me the strength I need to speak up.

"I've met someone." I blurt out, interrupting Luka's loud chomping beside me.

"Really? How thrilling. You should teach Walter, he's not left the house for two years." Luka says dryly, mouth still full of food.

Walter glares at him while West chuckles.

"I meet new people all the time." Walt mutters.

"Doesn't count if they don't exist." Luka says.

"At least my friends enjoy my company. What did George throw at you last week? A cabbage?" Walt says.

Luka's cheeks burn a slight pink.

"It was a cucumber, actually." He says matter-of-factly.

"Appropriate." West mumbles as Walt rolls his eyes.

The rest of dinner follows these lines and for once, I am eternally grateful. No one had really cared at all, I had worried for nothing. Or at least, that's what I had thought.

As I mooch into the living room after dinner, I stop suddenly at the sight of Everett on the sofa. Alone.

It's a suspicious sight.

He usually has one of our younger siblings fawning over him, doing their best to try his patience in the oldest game we know. But not tonight. Tonight, he's alone.

I know that I'm walking dangerous territory by staying in here. I'm a talker, I like to chat and catch up and I know without a doubt that I'll end up talking about Blue. It is so much safer to do introductions in person, where they can really get to know Blue. I bite my lip, shuffling backwards quietly as I attempt to escape the silence.

I curse lightly when I knock into the table next to me, rubbing my leg with a wince. When I glance up, Everett's gazing at me.

"Hey, Grey. Come sit." He invites, waving me over.

I hum unhappily under my breath, but nod as I come to sit by his side.

I fidget unbearably, my lips pursing together as I try to relax.

Of all my brothers, I want Everett to know the most. I want him to be proud of me, I want him to share in my overwhelming happiness. The only thing that stops me is the tiny seed of doubt. The whisper that echoes in the back of my mind, reminding me how awful life might be should Everett be disappointed. Should he not approve.

But he knows I'm biting my tongue. I can tell he knows.

And instead of looking at me persistently, or hounding me, he simply waits. He's leant against the back of the sofa with a care-free ease that is driving me bonkers. His gaze flickers to his phone carelessly, every muscle in his body relaxed.

I don't want to do this now. It'll be better if everyone's together, with mum around. Not here. Not Everett alone.

But every second of tense silence that passes somehow makes it worse. His unerring patience always guarantees him his reward, and in the end, I am putty in his hands.

"So, you've met someone." He says gently.

"He's my boyfriend." I say, a small thrill jolting down my spine at the word.