mark on my heart | Mark Sloan

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Mark walks slowly towards Callie's apartment with the help of his cane, leaning on it as he takes his time. While he is as slow as a snail, he is purposely trying to bide himself some time. He and Callie haven't spoken in over a month. He's seen Sofia on a video call but it was grainy and short, and at this point he just wants to hold her. It's been like 3 months now and he hates that. Does she think he left her?

He stops at the apartment door and takes a deep breath, raising his fist which he uses to knock twice, hard. There's shuffling behind the door and Callie opens it, her smile dropping as she sees Mark. "Oh." She simply says.

Mark sighs. "Hey...." He slowly says, adjusting his cane. "I uh I came to see So-"

"Oh you did? After all this time huh?" She crosses her arms. "Why now?"

"Because this is the first time I've left the stupid house for anything other than my appointments since I've been sort of recovering from, I don't know, almost dying?" He sasses and sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry. Sorry." He looks at her. "You may be mad at me Callie, but don't put her in the middle. I'm here now okay? I had to practically break out to get here."

"She doesn't want you seeing your kid?" Callie scoffs. "I knew-"

"No, she didn't want me coming alone and risking hurting myself." He firmly says narrowing his eyes. "She, Bonnie that is, was going to bring me anyway but I figured it wouldn't go down well. She was hesitant to let me come alone since I can't even wipe my own ass properly." He sarcastically says. He can wipe his own ass fine - now.

Callie huffs and pushes the door open. "She's napping. I'll wake her in like 10 if she doesn't wake soon. Coffee?"

"I'm dying for a coffee. Sorry, too soon?" He smirks a little.

She rolls her eyes but cracks a small smile behind his back. He sinks into the couch as she brings two coffees over. "How's Arizona? Where is she?" He asks as he looks around. There's a wheel chair off to the side but no real evidence of her wife.

"The bedroom. She... doesn't really leave it." Callie sighs and sits away from Mark staring into her coffee.

He watches her. "I know that feeling. Sometimes it's easier to hide than face everyone and everything."

"She hates me." Callie simply states, staring at the bedroom door. "I took her leg and that took the love she had for me."

"She's struggling, Callie. She loves you and always will but what we went through-" he stops and shakes his head. "It isn't just the physical trauma. We were in those woods for 4 days. The things we saw...." He clears the lump in his throat that he chokes on. There's a moment silence. "That's the worst bit." He whispers.

Callie stares back at her mug. "We went through it, too." She whispers. "Here. Waiting. Not knowing."

"I'm sure you did but, not to play victim, we got it worse. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but I damn wish I hadn't been there." He clenches his teeth as every muscle tenses. "They... they ate her. We listened to them howl all night then... then they-"

"Oh god." Callie whispers and covers her mouth as she realises. She never thought... they never thought. They were in the middle of nowhere. Wild animals... bodies... they were defenseless. Arizona saw that? He saw that? They all went though hell...

Mark clears his throat again. "It's in our memories forever. Nothing will ever erase the sounds, smells, the hunger, the fear, the images. We can't ever get rid of it. Just have patience. This didn't happen to you really."

"Don't undermine what we went through. Bonnie and I. Richard. Miranda. We were distraught. None of us knew what to do. I... I almost wished you all dead so I could pray you were at peace. So we would have to move on. 4 days felt like a life time." She whispers and takes a shaky breath. "But I know it happened to you. We don't know what happened but we are fixing the pieces."