mark on my heart | Mark Sloan

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Mark rests his elbow on the incubator, staring down at his tiny daughter.  All one pound, one ounce of her. Barely a week old and yet facing the biggest battle of her life. Mark rubs his eyes tiredly and straightens up, looking over as the door opens.

Bonnie smiles gently. "Hey." She whispers, leaning on the other side opposite him. "She's looking so good."

"She is." He smiles a little. "I've been so wrapped up in her... and Callie... that I've been a total ass and neglected you." He frowns as he looks over at her.

Bonnie takes his hand over the incubator. "I think I can let it slip." She smiles. "I've come to terms with the fact I'm not the only woman in your life... though if you ever suggest making another baby will Callie Torres? I'll be the last woman in your very short life."

Mark gives the biggest, most genuine smile he has given in weeks. "Understood." He mumbles and rubs his face.

Bonnie kisses his knuckles. "Let me take you home and cook dinner. Just for a night. Baby girl is stable, Callie is stable. Please come home."

Mark takes a deep breath as he stretches. "You know what? Let's go." He nods.

Bonnie smiles wide and takes his hand, letting him lead her out. She drives - no way is he getting behind the wheel after the lack of sleep he's faced lately. The moment they get home, he heads to shower as Bonnie begins their dinner.

Mark eventually comes out of the bathroom in some loose joggers, his hand rubbing through his damp hair. "That feels so much nicer than the hospital ones."

Bon smiles as she cuts the steak packaging open. "I have told you that a hundred times."

He leans on the counter behind her and looks around, re-familiarising himself with his own home. He frowns deeply and picks up the orange pill bottle amongst her medications that are tucked by the fridge and toaster. "Doxycycline?"

Bonnie freezes a little and chews her tongue. "Yeah..." she slowly says and looks over. "I was going to tell you later but... come sit." She turns the stove off and takes his hands.

Mark frowns deeply, his heart leaping. "What's... going on?" He slowly asks.

She pulls him beside her on the couch, gripping his hands. "Right. Okay." She takes a deep breath. "About a week ago, I felt a bit unwell... please let me finish before you say anything." She quickly adds. He nods stiffly once. "Okay. Well I had this feeling a couple times before." She almost whispers. "And then I'd usually do a test. Unfortunately I didn't get chance to do a test this time to know for sure but I-I had a miscarriage. I didn't fully pass it all and Ady had to do a D and C procedure a couple days ago. She gave me IV antibiotics and oral." She whispers now.

Mark is silent. Frozen. Processing. "Pregnant..." He slowly says, his eyes focusing on her. "Surgery...." He say as it slowly sinks in. "And... no one told me."

Bonnie frowns a little. "I should have, I know I should have, but Callie wasn't in a great place. Your focus needed to be on her and not on me-"

Mark grabs her face a little rougher than intended in both of his hands. "My focus should have been on you!" He snaps, eyes raging. "I should have been there! That was my baby!"

Bonnie grips his wrists gently, stroking. "Mark... there was nothing that could have been done. You were, you ARE, in a fragile state and I wasn't going to add to that. Not when it was something so horrible."

"Bonnie, I should have been there! You, you're my everything! We promised no more lies." He finally let's go of her face and snatches his arms back as he stands, one hand on his hip and the other in his hair. "Fuck!"