Secrets and Struggles

1

Caitlyn couldnt wait for this day to end. College was boring but it was nearly over thankfully. She wanted to be out in the world, seeing new places and writing her travel blog. At this point, she saw college as a formality but at least she had Michelle to get her through her last few weeks.

M - Hey, how did your classes go today?

C - Same as usual, "these last few weeks are important", "keep working hard" bla bla bla. How about you?

M - Oh same but I'm keeping it together. I really want to get this job at the end of it all but i need to pass my finals.

The girls chatted for a bit longer before Michelle had to leave for a study group. Caitlyn admired her enthusiasm for studying. She was proud of her friend for following her dreams. Caitlyn on the other hand wasnt sure where she could go with her grades but hopefully after her 3 months travelling across Europe, she would know what she wanted to do next. She packed up her things and left college, heading for her usual park bench looking over the canal. As she walked to her happy place, she stopped abruptly. There was a couple sitting on her bench! She placed her earphones back on and continued walking, hoping there would be somewhere else to go. She walked another 15 or so minutes and was about to turn around, giving up on her hopes of finding somewhere to sit and write, when she saw a solitary bench up ahead.

As she sat down, she smiled to herself. It turned into a happy accident, this bench had a nicer outlook across the canal and over the fields ahead, and more importantly not another person in sight. She pulled out her notebook and began to write;

Monday 1st May

a new day, a new week and still not idea what im doing with my life. The more i see Michelle at the moment, the more i resent her. how is that fair? she is my best friend and i resent her for having her shit together whilst im drownng in peoples opinions on how my life should be. mum pretends she cares but she really doesnt want my drama because that takes time away from her loving herself. 

"Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow."
― Stephen King

Caitlyn put her notebook down beside her and took a few deep breaths before picking up her bag and heading home to sort dinner. When she walked through the front door the familiar sound of silence filled her house. She opened the fridge, grabbing some snacks so she didnt have to cook for herself and went up to her room. As she unpacked her bag, panic hit her. she thought back over her last hour and remembered placing her book on the bench next to her. she hit herself on the head as she climbed into the shower. hopefully it would still be there in the morning and it wouldnt rain overnight. she changed into pjs and got into bed, flicking through Netflix before giving in to sleep.