Possibilities then?

Saksham

"It's okay, breathe. I am here. You are going to be okay, nothing is going to happen. It's okay." Dhanashree's voice has been echoing in my head for two days now. I called her two nights ago as was having a panic attack and didn't know what to do. My friends don't know about this. I didn't want them to now. Dhanshree is the only person who knows about it after my therapist. She guided me through the whole process. I haven't been able to build up the courage to thank her. I am either embarrassed or ashamed. I don't know. I have been wanting to talk to her but nahi ho paa raha hai and uper se Avni is here. I am so fucking confused. What the fuck is wrong with me?

Appu, Yuvi and Avni enter the room. All four of us had a group before Avni left. We were very close and Appu and Avni were best of friends. All of that crashed once Avni left without telling either of us. I am still in the blank. As of now, Avni has shifted here. Again. Her dad has a transfer job and it keeps them on a constant move.

"Here, your favorite blueberry juice." She says and hands me the bottle. "My preferences have changed. I don't like blueberry now." I say and head out of the class. I haven't forgiven her and I don't plan on doing that. From the corner of my eye, I see Dhanashree walking out of the class with a guy. Who is he? A boyfriend? A male best friend? Why is she laughing and giggling with her? What is going on? I hide in the empty classroom in front of the girl's washroom. 

"No way! You did that Abhi? Nahi ho sakhta!" She says in a cheery voice. "I am serious dude! I have done that. Meine sahi mein Brooklyn nine - nine 2 din mein khatam kiya hai re!" He answers and she scoffs. "Great! Finally, I  have someone with whom I can discuss B99 with!" She says excitedly. Why am I hiding? Like seriously. I haven't done anything wrong except the fact that I have completely avoided her for the last 2 days. They have been chit-chatting near the water place. I get out of the classroom and I can swear that Dhanashree noticed me from the corner of her eye but didn't do or say anything. 

"Hi! What's up?" I say and both of them look at me and that guy greets me with a head nod while Dhanashree doesn't say anything. "Hey dude, what were doing there?" He asks me. "Nothing, I was tying my shoelaces." AWKWARD. "Let's go, Abhi, class ka bhi time ho raha hai." She is giving me a cold shoulder. She should. Abhi nods his head and they start moving. I stop Dhanashree by holding her hand. She looks back and doesn't say anything except the fact that she is trying to break free. "We need to talk," I say and she gives me a sarcastic smile. "Do we? I thought you were playing 'Avoid Dhanashree' I don't want to have any sort of conversation with you. I am not a fucking toy. Jab tumhe baat karni hai tab karo and nahi karni tab maat karo. Let me go." She says in a stern voice. She is cold to me. 

"Dude, let her go." Abhi comes and tells me. Who the fuck is he to tell me what to do. "Nahi, I need to talk to her," I say and he comes in front of her. "Let her go, she doesn't wanna talk to you." He says as he tries to loosen my grip on her hand. "Abhi, is it? We need to have a conversation. So, you should go." I say in rather a commanding voice. 

"Abhi, it's okay. Tu jaa, mein aati hun. Ma'am puchen toh boldena washroom mein hun." Dhanashree says and I can feel myself getting a little bit proud. "Dhanashree, you sure? I can wait." He says. "Haan haan, I will be fine. Tu jaa." She says and he goes off but gives me a death stare. 

"First, let go of my hand. I am not a fucking toy. Second, speak." She commands and I do as she asks. Her wrist has turned red. I gripped it too hard. Fuck! I try to take her hand but she takes it behind her. "I am sorry, I wanted to talk but I was embarrassed. I shouldn't have avoided you and I didn't want to. It's just that I didn't have guts and-"

"Sakshammm! Kither tha tu? I was looking for you! Chalna, we are playing truth and dare." Avni comes and stands in front of Dhanashree. Again. I hate it when she does that. "Oh, I am sorry, I didn't see you," Avni says as she turns to Dhanashree. "Hello, I am Avni. Saksham's friend." She greets her. Why would she say Saksham's friend? "Hey, I am Dhanashree, I am from Humanities." She introduces herself and I can vouch that I saw Dhanashree gulp her anger. "I will have to steal Saksham from you. She says and Dhanashree smiles. "By all means, we were anyway done talking." She says and smiles. "Chalen toh phir?" Avni asks me and I keep quiet. "Anyways, I will head back to my class. You guys have fun!" Dhanashree says and within a split second, she vanishes. Why do we always get interrupted? Like why? Always!? Avni and I head off to the class.