Possibilities then?

Saksham

"Why are you here? Why didn't we abort you!? You are a fucking curse to my house and my family!" I wake up panting and sweating from my bed as the alarm goes off. I keep having these nightmares. They are normal but always scare the shit out of me. My therapist keeps telling me to process these things but I don't intend to do that because it is too complicated and exhausting. I have anyway a lot going on in my life. I have to deal with Mom because she will ask me if I want breakfast. Why does she put in effort!? Unko paata hai breakfast ke naam pe meko bread de denge. I would rather not have that. 

"Saksham beta, nashta karoge?"  She asks and I take a deep breath as it's getting difficult to deal with her every day because I cannot help her. I am helpless. "Nahi mom, aap karlo. Mein Appu ke saath kar lunga." I said and turned it down. "Saksham beta... bread nahi hai, roti ki sabji hai." She says and I turn around to confirm it. Mumma made it? "Mom, aapne banaya? Itni subah mein?" I say and she nods. This is new. We settle down and mom hands me a plate full of roti ki sabji. 

"Beta, I am sorry I am not able to make breakfast every day. I want to make breakfast for you every day but due to my bad habits. I am sorry." She says as she holds her tears back. "Mumma, I know that. I know that you try every day but nahi ho paata hai. It's okay. I know your situation and I get it. Aapki galti nahi hai. Don't worry." I say and she gets up and comes near me. She strokes my head and I get up to hug her. She tries to hold her tears back and I pat her back. This is the very first time in 2 to 3 years she has hugged me. I forgot what hugs feel like until I hugged her. That was 2 days and since then we haven't talked or even made eye contact. I should at least talk to her and clear out whatever happened that day.

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"Abey ae, chalna! Meko bhi kahan aata hai practical. Dekh lenge yarrr! Tension maat le." Appu tells Yuvraj as both of them aren't prepared for the chemistry practical. AGAIN. "Tum dono kabhi nahi sudhro gr na?" I say and give them a death stare. "Soorrrryyy naaa...." Yuvraj says in the most annoying way possible. 

After all the ranting and illogical plans we go to the chemistry lab to perform the practical. Appu gets anxious gets out of the lab and goes to the washroom. I  follow her because I think something is wrong. "Dude, I will just come. Appu is not looking good." I whisper it to Yuvi and to my surprise, he gets up and dashes out of the lab. What is happening? I follow him out as I signal one of my classmates to cover for us. 

Yuvi is acting quite weird. It's not like him. We see Appu out of the girl's washroom. "Appu! Tu think hai!? You don't look well." Yuvi asks her with a lot of concern. Weird with a capital W! "Yeah, I am okay, I just need help to go inside. Yuvi and I look at each other and then at her. We cannot inside! It's Girl's washroom after all. 

"Kya hogaya? Are you okay Aparajita?" Someone asks her and well... it turns out to be Dhanashree. I avoid any sort of eye contact with her. I am too awkward as well as terrified to do so. "She needs help. She is not feeling well and we cannot go inside." Yuvraj says and I just stand there, questioning my existence. "Aparajita, chalo, let's go inside. You guys wait here." She says and takes Appu inside. 

After 10 to 15 minutes they come out and Appu looks weak and pale. During the whole span of 10 minutes, Yuvraj kept pacing back and forth. He seemed quite disturbed and worried. Even I was worried but not like him. Something is definitely wrong. "She vomited and is showing signs of food poisoning, indigestion, and a bit of fever as well."  Dhanashree says and Yuvraj grows more worried. "Should we send her home? Should I talk to ma'am? Appu teko ghar jaana hai?" Yuvraj asks and Appu sighs. "Yuvi, chill... I am okay, Dhanshree has some medicines and she said she will give them to me. Just take me to the classroom." She says and Yuvraj does as she says. "Aparajita, I will get the meds... please rest and have some water. Yuvraj, Aparajita ko fan ke neeche baithana." She says and Yuvraj nods. They head off to the class.

Dhanashree and I are left alone. Shit! I should talk to her. "Dhanshree, I-"

"I will get her medicines." She cuts me off and starts to walk away. Shit, she is upset. I should really talk to her. Before I could think my body reacted. I stopped by holding on to her wrist. Fuck, fuck, fuck!! She turns around and I am awestruck. How can a person look so freaking beautiful with a nose ring? I admire her as she gets irritated by her hair which are troubling her by going into her eyes. "Saksham... you want to say something? She asks and I get pushed back into reality. "Oh...Oh! Yeah..uh...I am sorry." I say hesitantly. "What? Why?" She asks me with a load of confusion. "I didn't talk to you and didn't tell you my story and well...I sort of avoided you." I say and she gives me the brightest smile. "Saksham, chill...It's okay. As you said, it's your story and only you should have the right to tell me. I am no one to force it out of you. I told you mine because I wanted to. That doesn't mean that you have to do the same na? It's your personal experience and I am more than okay if you don't wanna share it with me. But, I am upset about one thing." She says and I am in disbelief. How can a person be this understanding, kind, and polite? 

"What's that?" I say and she frowns a bit. Cute. "You sorta avoided me. Why?" She asks and I laugh. "Well, I am a complicated person and I was too afraid to approach you on this topic. I shouldn't have done it and I am so sorry. What can I do for you?" I say and she smiles. "I want a five-star and a sunder sa flower!" She says and we both laugh. 

"Sakshaaaammm! How are you!? I missed you!" Someone comes and hugs me which results in breaking the contact between Dhanashree and me. Who is hugging me? Wtf!? I break the hug to see who it is and fuck! No fucking way! It's her. But didn't she shift to US? No way! It's Avni! What is she doing here? "Aren't you glad to see me?" She says and I just stand there. Like a rock. Not knowing what to do. "Hey, I thought you shifted to  US." I say and she starts to explain as Dhanashree escapes and starts walking away. Nai nai nai! I didn't want this. I wanted to talk to her. Shit! She must've misunderstood. FUCK! I need to talk to her. 

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Hiya Lovelies! I hope you guys are doing well! 

A light update this week as the last chapter was too heavy. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.  Please let me know how you like Avni's entry.

Might drop a big update next week.

A little hint for you guys:

Saksham talks to Dhanashree on a midnight call and they meet at a cafe. Only the two of them.

Please vote, comment, and share as it encourages me to write more interesting plots! 

PS: Sorry for my grammatical errors.

Until then, I hope all your dreams of living in a library come true!

Byeee Lovelies!  

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3