Darkside (a Jeff the killer romance)

21

Maybe Jeff is right...

That is the thought playing at Adrian's mind as he blankly stares at the girl sitting on his sofa. Erin is one of the girls in his friend group. Adrian invited her over for a smoke and some drinks, mostly because she has some kind of long running drama with Felix's girlfriend, so he could be sure she wouldn't bring either of those two. But, as he numbly listens to this girl prattle on and on about shallow gossip that he has nothing to do with, he asks himself: why do I care what these people think?

"-and then she said to him, like, why the hell would I have done that for? And what the fuck, right? She's crazy."

"Uh-huh. Totally." Adrian interjects with a dull monotone voice, at least half sure that she wouldn't stop talking whether he was responding or not. God, he hates this girl. She's come here under the pretence of "catching up", only to drink Adrians wine, smoke his weed, and chatter on constantly about stupid shit that happened at parties that he wasn't invited to. Probably just to hear herself talk. All of his 'friends' are vapid idiots, and he doesn't even enjoy being around them. Did he ever?

The bored teen downs what's left in his glass before pouring another. Even if Erin's company isn't doing much for him, it's less depressing than drinking alone. And fuck does he want to drink.

Three bottles of wine later, Erin is still talking, but Adrian is no longer listening. He's slumped over an arm of the sofa, resting his head on a hand, watching the last drops of liquid in his wine glass as he swirls it around. His mind is now completely fixated on wondering why he's spent his whole life trying desperately to be included by people that he doesn't even like. People who have been nothing but horrible to him despite his efforts. At what point does he give up? Or was his aim always just to survive on the scraps of companionship he's sometimes thrown after giving anything and everything that he can? Thinking about it, that is what he'd come to accept his life being. He was even glad to be able to do that at all. How utterly depressing.

Jeff might just be right. About everything. Adrian has given up his dignity and self-respect for the sake of not being alone in the world, and yet, sitting here opposite this gossiping girl, he feels as alone as he would if she wasn't there.

Maybe meeting someone who he actually really likes has made him realise that he never liked any of these other people. Or, maybe, having a real friend for the first time has opened his eyes to how shallow and fake all of his other friendships have always been. Jeff may be an unstable psychopath who might murder him down the line (and who has kicked the crap out of him on more than one occasion) but what kindness and friendship he does offer, it feels genuine.

Fuck, I miss Jeff... Adrian laments, still staring into his almost empty glass. The murderer left for one of his sprees and hasn't been around for a few days. Adrian wishes that he didn't have to travel so far away to do that. Though, the teen thinks back to the last thing Jeff said before he left. "I'll be back in a few weeks." He smiles playing the words over in his head. He had been so happy when he'd heard that, it almost completely counteracted his disappointment at his friend leaving. Jeff hasn't ever made it clear that he'd definitely be back before, let alone an estimation of how long it would take. It's nice.

Adrian sighs, moving his attention back to Erin. She's rambling about something that she heard from someone who heard it from someone else. He's sure that even if he'd been listening, he wouldn't care.

"Erin," Adrian speaks up, interrupting her.

"Yeah I know, I couldn't believe it either! But then he said-"

"Erin," Adrian repeats, trying his best to actually get a word in to the hours of monologue that this conversation has been. He's reached a point of (only partly alcohol fueled) apathy. So he decides to make an attempt to get a real conversation out of this. Because why the fuck not? "What do I do wrong?" He asks, tone blank other than clearly being a bit tipsy.