The Bull Prince | Max Verstappen

SEQUEL - Chapter 54

It wasn't something she could explain, not really. It was just the sensation of the frozen crystals on her from the cold reddened skin. It was the cold seeping in, when she lay on the ground in her skiing clothes. It was the dances of the flakes. The continuity of it. The grey sky and the white flakes. It was beautiful to watch during the day, but at night, it had something special. Something moving.

When a single streetlight illuminated a tiny part of the world, just light enough for one to see every snowflake individually as they fell to the ground and build a solid white blanket, wrapping the entire world in. Making the night clear and bitter cold, so cold you could almost hear it, like the sound glass made when it rubbed against glass.

The talk about Mark had left her more in her thoughts than usual which Max had noticed but refused to address. The tenderness of addressing the topic was still engraved in Joanna's every move. He didn't want to push her further, not when she had opened up so readily, but the Austrian felt that she might regret telling him altogether.

Joanna didn't like dwelling on the past, there was nothing she could do to change something that had already happened, it was set in stone, but that didn't mean it couldn't come back to damage what she had built. Sometimes, she felt like talking about the past was like cursing herself. As if her past memories craved revenge. Tried to punish her for locking them into a box hidden deep in herself, never to be open, when all they wanted was to be shown, was to be felt. Joanna refused to do all these things.

Things long spoken about are things that will be remembered, but the accuracy of these memories float and change. They have no significance anymore. They do no longer define her, for she had made new memories, memories she liked better.

She was sure that half the memories she had about Mark were tinted with mildness of time. It didn't make her soft, not at all but the memories became foggy, as if she was looking through an unfocused camera. It made her milder in her harshness towards Mark. It also made her milder in her harshness towards herself and Joanna didn't think she deserved that, not yet. Not any time soon.

Taking a deep breath, the Austrian reached for the heavy wool pullover she had hung over the chair by the window last night, before pulling it over the shirt she wore that belonged to Max. A pair of long pyjama pants she could wear over her shorts were found quickly, just as a pair of socks. Getting dressed quickly and silently, Joanna glanced at Max one last time, sleeping peacefully in their bed, before she slipped out of the room.

Her boots were standing on a tray by the door, so the melting snow wouldn't damage their wooden floor, her winter coat was hung up in the wardrobe not far away. A scarf and a beanie quickly put on as well. It felt strange to her, being able to dress herself fully, without having to dress Henry first, without having to hurry once Henry was dressed so he would heat up too much in his winter clothes and without Max asking where his own things were, which he of course had no idea of where they were kept.

Walking through the door of their apartment, Joanna realised that she was very much a mother now. More so than she ever thought she would be. Henry was always the first thing she thought about. His needs came before anything else, while all Joanna was, all that defined her had to move into the background of her existence. She was a mother now and she was loved for it.

"Ms Lauda." Tommy greeted surprised as she had made her way down the stairs which lead from the living apartments and what they used as their offices down into the great hall, past all the F1 cars she owned.

"Can I assist you with something?" The Austrian asked, who was on night duty so Adrian could have his eight hours of sleep as well, even thought Joanna had told Adrian, that she found it a bit unnecessary for security staff to guard the front door the entire night.