**I was requested to do this premise with both Dušan Vlahović and Rúben. I posted the other one yesterday and you can find it on my imagines for Misc players. And here is the version for Rúben today. Hope you enjoy it **
--
One of the most important things in a relationship, if not the most important, is trust. It wasn't always easy to get someone to trust you but it could be very easy to lose that trust one worked so hard to achieve.
Rúben knew it hadn't been easy to get you to trust him. However, he didn't know why. But he had multiple theories about it. Maybe you didn't trust him because footballers had a reputation and could he really blame you? Maybe you had been hurt by other people you trusted and developed trust issues. Or maybe that was the way you were and it wasn't anything wrong.
But not knowing the origin came with the problem that it made it way easier for him to mess up without even knowing he was messing up.
"I'm just saying that guy was a bit too friendly".
"And you think it's my fault?", you told him back, tired of how he had spent the night sulking because a guy talked to you.
"I didn't say it was your fault".
"You didn't need to, Rúben. I know the speech already".
"It was him. He was all over you and I just waited for you to tell him to go away...".
"So it is my fault".
"No", he said, hands on his hair. "But you're too nice. And he took advantage of that and...".
"Too nice...and maybe my dress is too sexy too. Find more things I did wrong while you're at it".
Rúben grew frustrated by your reaction. You wouldn't listen to him and he just wanted to explain to you why he was so annoyed. So when you kept interrupting him, he hit the table. It wasn't in an aggressive way. He just placed his palm with more force than usual and it made a louder noise. And you flinched.
"Just listen to me, please...".
But when he looked up at you, he frowned. You went quiet all of a sudden and not because of his request. He noticed you looking down at your lap and shaking slightly.
"Are you cold?", he asked and you shook your head. "What's going on? You look really pale".
"I'm fine".
"You're not, you're shaking".
Rúben lifted his hand to touch you and you moved back. What the hell?
"Why are you acting like this? You're scaring me".
"I need to go", you said, picking up your bag and making your way out.
"Go? We have to go home together. I'm the one driving...".
"Please, Rúben. Just let me go. I need to be alone".
The last thing he wanted was for you to leave alone when he wasn't sure you were ok but he saw the plea in your eyes and nodded. He didn't know what was going on but he realised pushing you to tell him was not going to end well.
"Text me when you get home, please. I'll be back soon too if that's ok".
You just nodded before leaving. Rúben didn't know which one of his requests you agreed with or if you were even listening to him. But he let you go.
The moment you got home, you took your coat off and walked to the room. You needed to get the dress off too. It made you feel trapped. And you needed a shower because you felt dirty.
"He's not like him", you whispered. "I know Rúben is not like him".
The hot water relieved the tension of your muscles and allowed you to relax for a second. Picking up your lavender-scented shower gel, you washed your skin and inhaled the calming scent, trying to calm your nerves down.
Rúben made it home when you were still in the shower. He wasn't planning on being back so early, wanting to give you more time, but you didn't text and he was worried. He sighed, relieved when he saw your coat on the floor and picked it up.
He heard the shower and sat down in your bed, trying to think how to approach this conversation.
"Oh...hi".
He turned to look at you, wearing a towel around your body and brushing your hair.
"You ok?"
You nodded. "I'm better".
"Can I ask what happened at the party? I'm sorry I got jealous but...I didn't expect that reaction. I wasn't blaming you. I swear".
The sincerity of his words hurt. You had been unfair with him but you didn't mean to.
"Let me put some clothes on and then we talk, ok?"
"Sure".
He just sat on the bed, looking at you moving around the room picking up some pajamas you could wear and waiting for an explanation.
"I haven't been fully honest with you, Rúben", you started, sitting down next to him.
"In which way?"
"You know how I never wanted to talk about my previous relationships when you asked me?", he nodded. "That's because it's hard for me to do so".
"You don't have to then...".
"No", you told him, placing your hand over his. "It's the only way you can understand me fully".
Telling the story was too similar to reliving it in your head, which was something you tried to avoid as much as humanly possible. But Rúben deserved the effort.
"My ex was very controlling. That's how it started. No other man could ever talk to me and if they did, they were clearly flirting with me and it had to be because I was leading them on".
Rúben closed his eyes, now understanding why you felt like he was blaming you for his own jealousy.
"I was too friendly, of course guys would misunderstand that. I was wearing clothes that were too sexy, so guys were bound to think I was easy and willing to cheat...the list goes on. You can imagine how it continued".
"Yes", was all Rúben said.
"And then controlling me with words wasn't enough...".
Rúben didn't need to hear more to understand what had happened. "I'm sorry you went through that".
"Yeah...and I'm sorry you pay for it too. My trust issues affect you now too".
"I don't mind that. Honestly...".
"When you hit the table, I thought you were going to hit me, Rúben".
The admission hurt him but seeing the tears in your eyes hurt way more.
"I would never...".
"I know. That's why I had to leave. Not because I was afraid of you. Because I felt sick for comparing you to him in my head when I know you're nothing like him. I'm sorry I did that but the noise triggered something inside of me I can't control".
"You've got nothing to apologise for", he said, bringing you closer to him to hold you.
He just wanted to hold you for as long as it took to remove the pain that was still inside of you.
"I trust you, Rúben. I really do", you said and those words made him so happy.
"Thank you for telling me. And for finding me deserving of your trust. I'll prove to you I'm worthy of it".
