Hearing the alarm going off in the morning at 6.30 is painful enough. But the day has another surprise for me. When I try to sit up in bed, I can feel the pain stabbing my lower stomach. But it doesn't make sense...my period is not due for another 3 days.
I get up to go to the toilet and can see the confirmation that my period decided to visit me a little early. How nice. I guess it missed me but I can't reciprocate the feeling.
Fighting the pain, I go to the kitchen to try and eat some food just so I can take some tablets for the pain. There is no way I can go to work if I don't get some relief for this debilitating pain.
My periods didn't use to be this bad but a year ago something changed in my body and now I always fear this monthly day of pain.
Rúben: see you tonight! Do you want me to pick you up from work? Xx
Right, I forgot about my date with my boyfriend. And...as much as I would like to have him with me, hugging me with those strong arms, he can't see me today. We've only been dating for two months and I don't want him to see me like this. Also, my ex was an asshole that instead of supporting me when the periods got worse, just told me not to talk to him about it because it was "gross".
I hate to be like this but I fear Rúben might do something similar. And I can't deal with that heartbreak while my hormones are making my moods so weird.
Me: sorry, I can't meet today. A lot of work. We can meet tomorrow? Xx
I hate lies so much. But this one is necessary. For now at least.
Rúben: I can bring some dinner to you then. I don't mind waiting until you're done.
Not the time to be dreamy and perfect, Dias.
Me: I have to stay in the office.
Me: looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
And that's another lie. My boss knows about my terrible periods and she always allows me to work from home so I don't have to take the bus in this state. So no office for me today either. Just the sofa, a hot water bottle and my laptop. Let's hope today is not that bad.
**
At exactly 5 pm, I close my laptop and put it on my coffee table. I take a deep breath, which causes the cramps to feel even worse and just lie down on the sofa, closing my eyes and willing the pain to go away.
After a couple of minutes, I get up to grab some water and another tablet but the doorbell interrupts my little trip. Who could it be? A delivery?
"Rúben?"
"Do you want to explain to me why you lied?"
I take another deep breath and now that I'm standing, it causes me to bend down from the horrible pain.
"Hey, what's going on? Are you ok?"
He kneels down in front of me, trying to see my face for clues of what could be happening but I keep trying to hide.
"Just go. Why are you here? I told you I couldn't see you".
But he doesn't listen. He just picks me up and closes the door before taking me to the sofa so I can lie down there again.
"Hot water bottle, medicine, all your work stuff right here...you could have just told me you were sick. Are you afraid it's contagious?"
"You definitely can't catch this", I say, my voice weak from how much pain I'm in.
"What is it then...", but then he sees me holding my stomach and gets it. "Yeah, not something I'll catch".
His laugh confuses me. Is he making fun of me now? Or is it just me being paranoid because of how my ex acted?
