Magnetic

Chapter 20

Chanyeol was a good distraction. The reason I was sure he was just a distraction was because when he wasn't around, I felt the hole in my chest opening again. Everything felt heavy again. Just like right before he showed up at my door for a study session. I hadn't wanted to get out of bed but clearly he had other plans. I wasn't giving myself room to figure out what the hell was going on with me and I wanted to keep it that way. It was probably just school. It was all going to be over soon but instead of reminiscing about all the good times and looking forward to the future, my mind was just filled with muck I couldn't clear out. All the things I pushed aside were now falling on top of me, crushing me, and I couldn't find a way out. Chanyeol was the oxygen mask I needed to keep me conscious. Even if it was just for a little while.

It was a Tuesday afternoon and I had one class to go. I felt utterly exhausted. I couldn't wait to get to my apartment, take a hot shower, and crawl into bed. I didn't care that the sun would still be out. I needed my air conditioner on zero degrees and my weighted blanket suffocating me. Dark clouds have been hovering in the sky all day. A downpour was coming soon. I just hoped I would be in the safety of my apartment by then. I hadn't bothered to bring an umbrella or my rain jacket and was definitely not in the mood to be drenched.

As I reached my building, an unwanted figure was pacing nearby as oblivious students passed him. I could run – just leave campus – but I couldn't keep doing that. I couldn't keep letting him run me away. I took a breath and sped up, intending on rushing by him and not stopping no matter what. I kept my focus forward as I approached the building.
"Brooke." His voice made me tense up but I ignored him and kept walking. "Hold on, Brooke." He was following me. I picked up the pace but I felt a hand wrap around my wrist and forcefully stop me just before I reached the door. "Stop running." He snarled, stepping close to me.
"Get off me." I tried to pull away but he tightened his grip.
"You're going to talk to me." He used his height to his advantage and stared me down.
"How many times do I have to tell you that we have nothing to talk about?" I was glad my voice didn't shake, but I felt as if I would start visibly shaking soon. He chuckled and that made my heart seize.
"Oh, yes we do." He said. "People have been talking. What have you been saying?"
"I haven't been saying anything."
"Well someone is running their mouth so who have you been talking to?"
"I'm not talking to anyone." I tried to pull my arm free again, but he wouldn't let go. He glanced around then started to tug me away from the building. "What are you doing?" I planted my feet firmly on the ground, refusing to move.
"We're not talking out here."
"I'm not going anywhere with you. Get the hell off me." I tried pulling again but he squeezed and me twisting my arm to get free only caused more pain.
"Come on." He yanked me, causing me to yelp and lose my footing, allowing him to pull me in the direction he wanted.
"Eric, I'm serious, get off." My fighting was futile. I looked around panicked but no one seemed to notice. Everyone was going about their business as usual as he dragged me toward behind the building. "Get off!"
"Shut the fuck up." He shoved me hard against a nearby tree, knocking the air out of me. He pinned my arm against my chest effectively keeping me firmly pressed against the tree. He was close, using his body as an extra blockade. "Shut up." He said lowly, gaze piercing. As petrified as I was, I needed to do something before I broke down and I refused to cry in front of him.
"I will scream." I said. His eyebrows furrowed before he chuckled and shook his head.
"You are making this way more difficult than it needs to be." He said. "Why don't you just talk to me?"
"About what?" I finally took his bait.
"Me and you." His grip finally loosened some. I rolled my eyes.
"What the hell don't you get? We're not getting back together."
"Why not?" I was baffled he was actually asking me that question.
"Why do you think?" I gestured to the fact that he was practically holding me hostage against a tree.
"I'm not the same anymore. I'm just...frustrated." He said. "You won't talk to me, you keep running away, then you start spreading lies about me." His scowl returned and his grip tightened.
"I'm not spreading anything."
"Was it your little boyfriend then?" He said.
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"Of course you don't." he laughed. "No one actually wants you. He's probably just using you to keep his dick warm. Just like I did. Just like Sehun did." I went numb. The hole in my chest widened. He wanted a reaction and he definitely was going to get it.
"I'm going to scream." I said calmly. He looked confused for a moment but seemed to dismiss me like he usually did. "I am going to scream." I repeated. "Let me go."
"First tell me who you've been running your mouth to." I opened that same mouth he was talking about and shrieked at the top of my lungs. It startled him enough to back away from me. I saw him about to reach out, presumably to cover my mouth but I moved out of the way and screamed louder.
"Are you fucking crazy?!" He looked at me bewildered. I kept screaming. Not caring that I could barely breathe, that I was getting lightheaded, that my throat was burning. He looked around frantically before taking off. I let the scream die in my throat and leaned against the tree for support, chest heaving. I was shaking. I had to leave. On trembling legs, I hurried toward the exit of the campus. I vaguely heard in passing people wondering what that sound was and asking others if they heard it. I kept my focus on the ground and moved quickly.
"Hey –." I looked up just as I bumped into a solid body. He chuckled as he steadied me, holding me securely by my arms. I pulled away quickly. He looked surprised for a moment, moving his hands away as if he'd been burned. He frowned and his eyebrows drew together in confusion and worry. Great, he was worried. I wanted to throw up. "Are you okay?" I obviously wasn't but I lied anyway with a nod.
"I'm fine." My voice cracked painfully. I had to look away from his big, round eyes. "See you." I walked around him and continued toward the exit.
"Are you getting sick?" I heard him before I saw his figure beside me from my peripherals. He was keeping pace with me even though his legs were much longer than mine.
"Probably." I replied.
"Skipping then?" This, I couldn't lie about. He knew my schedule well. I just nodded. "Cool. I'm in the mood for pizza. You down?"
"Don't you have class soon?" I asked, it was my turn to be confused now.
"Yeah." He shrugged. "So?" I had been seconds away from having a panic attack and now this fucker is asking me to go for pizza?
"Okay." I replied because why not? His smile revealed his dimple. He gestured for me to follow him and we changed directions to the lot.