Here With Me [The Ludovicas: Second Generation Book One]

Five | Happy

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I am gonna cry now
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ARNAUD
(Age Twenty-five)

I was mentally exhausted.

The acquaintances didn't seem to stop coming to offer their condolences to me and I had enough of it already. So I handed that responsibility over to Orla, Marcelo and Mom and sat down on a bench in the corner.

I rubbed a hand over my face, letting out a sigh while I watched everyone approaching my mom and sister and my brother-in-law.

Marcelo carried his two-year-old daughter Lenore in his arms while Orla held Armano's hand. Both the kids looked confused, attending the funeral of a man they never even met.

I never knew a funeral could be so damn annoying. I should be in hell for not grieving my father's death but I had my reasons. And I am sure Mom and Orla's sad smiles are fake too.

The noise of leaves crunching approached me from my right and I lifted my head to see who it was.

I was more than surprised when a nine-year-old Celestine's innocent face came into my view, her eyes on me as she made her over here.

I had no idea she was here but then maybe it's because she follows Marcelo almost everywhere.

"Celestine," I said as she hopped onto the bench and sat beside me, her eyes scrutinizing me.

"Hi", she grinned but then quickly wiped it off her face when she must have realised where she was. "Oh, sorry."

"You are here too," I mumbled, silently questioning her.

She shrugged. "Uncle told me your dad died. So I wanted to meet you."

My heart warmed at her thoughtfulness. "Thanks."

"But you don't look sad." She pointed out being the clever one she was.

I raised a brow at her. "What do you mean?"

"Your dad died but you are not sad. If something happened to my dad then I would be very very sad."

She rendered me speechless for I had no answer for her question. "Um..."

She cocked her head, watching me curiously. "Why are you not sad? Did you not love him?"

My fingers clenched around the edge of the bench and I stared ahead. "No. I didn't love him." I whispered, not seeing why I should lie to her.

"But why? I love my dad."

I slid my gaze to her. "That's because your dad loves you so much. My dad was..." I didn't know what word to use exactly and I settled on, "...bad."

Her mouth formed an 'O'.

I hummed. "I..." I didn't want to hurt her in any way but I didn't want to talk to her either. "I...am not feeling well, Celestine. I want to be alone right now. How about we talk later?"

But she didn't hear a single word that I said, instead her brows were furrowed and she seemed to be thinking really hard, her eyes on the ground.

"Cel?"

At last, her head turned to me. "But...you said you are not sad then why are you not feeling well?"

My jaw clenched. "Celestine, please. I need you to leave, okay? We will talk later."

"I want to know. You are not sad yet you look sad...no, you look angry. Why is that? I want you to be happy."

I sighed. "I don't know."