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The walls weren't thick enough to block out the
angry noises of the voices that used to soothe her to sleep.
(Y/N) lays in bed, staring at the ceiling. She can hear her parents fighting in the next room. You would think that surviving the Ark crashing would be enough to get her dad to stop drinking or her mom to finally leave him, but no. She bites her lip, her heart breaking even more. She wants to help. She wants her parents to be happy in this messed up world, but apparently nothing can do that. She stares at the ceiling, wondering if she can do anything to make her parents stop fighting. She hears nothing but the fighting in the next room, the sound bouncing around in her skull.
And she lies, tonight. Underneath a caving roof.
The room closes in around her, suffocating her. She could alway escape and find Octavia, but she doesn't want to bother her. She's probably with Lincoln and she doesn't wanna barge in.
(Y/N) is in love with Octavia. She's not out yet and she would never tell Octavia of her feelings. She loves Lincoln.
Why would she love someone like (Y/N) when she has Lincoln?
And she cries, tonight Wondering what she can do.
What can she do to make Octavia see that she loves her? That she's always been there, even before Lincoln came into her life?
How can she make her parents happy? Her dad started drinking not long after she was locked up for seducing a doctor for medication for her mom. And since then, her parents' relationship have been on the downfall.
All because of her.
And she tries, tonight. But she's out of memories she once knew.
She cant remember a time when she was truly happy. When she didn't have to force a smile. When she didn't go to bed every night thinking maybe it was better if she were never born. Every good, pure memory she's ever had has been tainted by her own failures, by earth. By death and suffering. By trauma and heartbreak. Nothing she can do will ever bring back her happy memories. The girl she knew, the girl she loved to be... that girl is never coming back.
And she dies, tonight. Another empty bottle takes a life.
She reaches over, her hand brushing over the bottle of painkillers she snatched from medical bay. She traces the cap, praying for a sign warning her that she shouldn't do it. Someone to stop her, to tell her she's worth it.
That's all it takes.
Someone to tell her she's loved. That she deserves it.
But when no one comes in, no sign of things getting better reveals itself, she uncaps the bottle and takes them.
She takes them all.
She lets the bottle fall to the ground as she lies in bed, waiting for everything to end.
She has nothing to live for. Her parents wouldn't miss her. Octavia will be alright. She has Lincoln and Bellamy. She'll be okay.
So tonight, she lies. Lifted up through her own roof. Dried eyes, tonight. There's nothing more that she can do.
She feels herself drift off to a better place, a place where there's no pain, no suffering, no death.
And she slips away, a peaceful smile on her face.
Her mom walks into her daughter's room, eyes red from crying from another fight with her husband. She walks in to find her daughter sleeping. She sighs, smiling softly, At least one of them is relaxed. She waits to watch the peaceful rise and fall of her daughters chest. But after a little too long, she sees nothing. Her stomach drops and she rushes over to her daughter's bedside, checking her pulse. Her hands shake as she finds nothing.
She lets out a heartbroken scream, pulling her daughter to her chest. Her husband rushes in to see what the commotion is about. The sight before him brings him to his knees as he, too, lets out a broken cry.
And they cry, tonight. A daughter that they hardly knew.
Not too long after, Kane and Abby rush in with Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia. Clarke stands frozen in the doorway, her heart breaking at the sight of her best friend lifeless in her mom's arms. Bellamy catches Clarke as she falls, struggling to keep his own tears at bay. His (Y/N/N), the girl he's seen as his sister since the Ark. Gone, a shell of a person the only thing left of the laugh and smile he adored.
Octavia pushes through.
"What's going on?" she asks, moving over to her best friends bedside. She practically shoves (Y/N)'s mom out of the way and catches her body. Her hands hover over her face, shaking. Unable to hold back her emotions, she screams. She cradles the love of her life's body, begging her to wake up, to come back to her. She kisses her forehead, her lips trembling with brokenness and sorrow.
"I love you. I love you so, so much. Please come back."
And she's lost in time. Another empty bottle takes a life.
