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ততততত
Clarke stares at your unmoving form, hooked up to more machines than she'd ever seen in her life-- even when training on the Ark.
When you fell off that cliff, Clarke nearly launched herself off after you, but she knew that if there was even a small chance you were still alive, she needed to get down there safely.
It took her longer than she wanted to get down there, and when she did, she couldn't stop the small lunch she ate from surfacing.
There you laid, bloodied and, to her eyes, most certainly dead.
She was scared to approach you, not wanting to face the confirmation she would need that you were gone. To her surprise, as her fingers found your wrist, there was a faint thumping.
Luckily, her screams were heard by those at camp, and soon help arrived. She ignored the various gasps and tears from around her as she waited for her mom to come tell her that you'd be okay.
Abby pushed forward, and nothing could prepare her for the sight of her daughter sobbing next to your damaged body. Abby knelt beside Clarke, pushing aside the maternal instinct to comfort her daughter, instead focusing on doing what she could to save you.
The longer she looked, the more hope she lost. She knew the chance of you surviving the night was slim, let alone the trip back to camp. Still, knowing how much Clarke loved you, she couldn't not try.
To everyone's surprise, not only did you survive the trip back to camp, but you survived the night. And then next night. And the night after that.
Only, your condition hadn't changed.
You were still in a coma, and a machine was still breathing for you.
Clarke hadn't left your side once, having long since cried herself dry. Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, and Monty came in periodically to check on you and make sure Clarke was getting food and sleep, but Clarke never left.
If she hadn't left in the first place, you wouldn't be half dead in a bed in front of her.
If she could go back, she would have never walked away from camp without saying goodbye. She never would have left your side. She would have fought the guilt, and you would have been by her side the entire time.
But that's not what she chose, and instead she walked away, leaving you alone.
"Stay," Clarke whispers, looking at your pale face. "I'll follow you anywhere. I'll never leave your side again. Just please stay."
Like the days before, you didn't move. You didn't squeeze her hand and promise her that she'd never be alone like you had so many times before. Instead, you lay perfectly, agonizingly still.
"Clarke?" Abby says. Clarke doesn't turn around, the only indication that she heard her being a slight raising of her head. "We need to talk."
"No."
"Clarke--"
"She's still here," Clarke protests, her voice quiet and broken. "I can't give up on her."
"Even if she were to wake up, she wouldn't be the same," Abby says. "She would be in a vegitative state. Her brain is too damaged."
"You don't know that," Clarke cries. "She's strong. She can get through this."
"Even the strongest of people have their limits, baby," Abby says quietly.
"I can't let her go," Clarke whispers. Abby lays a hand on Clarke's shoulder, her heart breaking for her daughter.
"You have to."
Clarke stares at your face for a little longer, silently begging you to wake up and prove her mother wrong.
But you lay still.
Clarke stands and kisses your forehead, memorizing the feel of your skin against her lips, knowing that once she pulls away, she'll never feel it again. Clarke reluctantly pulls away and looks back at her mom, who can do nothing but watch as her once lively daughter dies inside.
Clarke then does the hardest thing she's ever done.
She nods.
Abby approaches you slowly, resting her hand on your cold arm, wishing that you would be a miracle.
But, she knows as well as everyone else, that on Earth, miracles don't happen.
Abby slowly turns off the machine keeping you alive, and a few moments later, the monitor flatlines.
At the gut-wrenching sound, Clarke's legs give out, and she falls to the ground, her tears falling silently but no less steadily.
Because she left, she now knows a life where she has to live without you.
And that in itself is the biggest punishment of all.
