forbidden | b.e.

You'll figure it out | 023

- B I L L I E -
Continued...

"Gigi, I don't think- I don't think we should do this. We're both drunk." I tell Gianna, pulling away from her lips. "You don't want to?" She asks. "I don't wanna mess.. mess up our friendship. I- I still like Rae and.." I slur my words. "C'mon, we're already- already fake dating." She says. "Fuck, come here." I roll my eyes and kiss her again.

"No," She pulls away. "We're gonna regret this and mess shit up." She shakes her head. "Y-yeah, let's not." I say. "Shit, I'm so fucking dizzy." She groans. "I'm gonna be sick." She runs to the bathroom in the bedroom we went up to and I follow her in, holding her hair back for her.

This is gonna be a long night.

✧˖°

"You feeling better?" I ask Gigi. We're laying on a random bed right now, just staring at the ceiling. "Yeah. What about you?" She turns to look at me. "A little bit better." I shrug.

"Billie?"

"Yeah?"

"You really like Aurelia, don't you? I mean, we were just gonna fuck, only because we were drunk, but even when you're wasted, you still think of her. It's cute." Gigi smiles softly. "I don't know what to do, G. It's like she's on my mind constantly, but I feel like it's never the same way for her. She has a boyfriend that she loves, but I want her to love me." I sigh.

"I know you do, Bil. She's jealous for a reason, though, so there's something on her mind. Our plan is working." She shrugs her shoulders. "Yeah, I know." I nod.

"You wanna go downstairs? I need some water." Gigi says, getting up from the bed. "Sure." I say. We walk out of the room and down the stairs. "Tito!" Gigi shouts over the music. Tito turns around to look at her. "What's up?" He asks. "Do you know where Aurelia is?" She asks him. "The kitchen." He answers. "K, thank you." She nods and grabs my hand. We walk to the kitchen and Aurelia turns around, the smile on her face dropping once she sees us.

She looks back and forth from me to Gigi before looking down at our hands. She quickly walks away and I look at Gigi. "Go after her!" She urges. I run in the direction Aurelia went in to try and find her. I see her at the end of the hallway, trying to go into a bathroom, but the door's locked. "Fuck," She curses under her breath.

"Aurelia, don't run away please. Just let me talk to you." I sigh. "Please just.. go away." She shakes her head. "Rae, I don't fucking get you! You're jealous and then when I try to explain shit, you run!" I exclaim. "I'm not jealous, Billie." She crosses her arms.

"You are! What are you so jealous about?"

"I just said I'm not fucking jealous!" She shouts. "Aurelia, nothing happened, I promise." I say. "It's none of my business and I don't care." She pushes past me, but I grab her hand, pulling her back to me. She stumbles towards me, her face right in front of mine.

"Don't walk away from me when I'm trying to talk to you." I whisper. "Don't start with this shit again." She rolls her eyes and pulls back. "Aurelia, we didn't hook up and even if we did, why does it matter to you?" I ask.

She points at my neck and I look down. Fuck, I have a hickey. "Aurelia, I-"

"Don't, Billie." She shakes her head and walks off.

She's so confusing. She won't admit she's jealous, but anyone can see it.

Yet, she's so fucking addicting.

- A U R E L I A -

I push past everyone crammed into the hallway to get out of the house. "Hey, Rae, where you going?" Tito asks. "Home." I answer before walking out. I didn't even say goodbye to Lorenzo or tell anyone else I was leaving, I just can't be here right now.

I don't know why I feel this way.

I'm so afraid of my feelings right now.

I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket, but realize I still have on Billie's jacket.

Fuck. Everything reminds me of her.

I quickly walk down the street and back onto campus before heading to the dorms. I go upstairs and into my room, shutting the door behind me. I take my shoes and the jacket off before sitting down on my bed.

I hate feeling this way. Why am I so jealous? I mean, I'm not jealous, I just don't..

I don't know, okay?

Feelings are hard.

✧˖°

There's a knock at my door and I get up to open it. I open the door and see Gigi standing there. "What do you want?" I sigh. "Rae, can't you just hear Billie out please? I know we're still dating, but she still cares about you." She tells me.

"I didn't say anything about you guys dating." I roll my eyes. "But that's what this is about, isn't it?" She asks. "No." I go to shut the door, but she pushes it back open. "Aurelia, why are you being like this?"

"G, I don't wanna talk right now. I'm not jealous of you guys and I'm fine." I say. "I hope you know I love you, Rae. You'll understand this all eventually." She assures me. "What do you mean?" I furrow my eyebrows and Gigi shrugs. "You'll figure it out. Right now, you're oblivious to how you feel, but you'll see it someday." She explains.

"Okay?" I say, still confused. "I love you." She smiles softly. "I love you too, Gigi." I sigh and hug her. "Goodnight." She waves. "Night." I say before shutting the door.

I'm still so confused.

Okay, maybe I'm jealous, but I don't know what I'm supposed to be figuring out from that.

I'm genuinely not sure what's going on anymore. All of this is too confusing and I just wish things were the way they used to be. Me and Gigi would hang out everyday, Billie and I were still close and everything was easier.

Now? Things are just fucked up.

I don't know what to think anymore.

I need to find out what Gigi means.

a/n 🤍

sorry this is so short 😭