Brighter Stars // Billie Eilish gxg

f o r t y t w o

Carmen's POV

"Mr. Webb, after hearing the accounts from the victims present today, I feel sick just looking at you." The Judge starts, glaring in Webb's direction.

I readjust myself in my seat, feeling the tension radiating from the other girls sitting next to me.

An eerie silence falls over the room, as the judge takes a deep breath.

"There is a very evident truth about you, Mr. Webb. It is clear that you are grossly negligent as to how your actions affect others." The judge says, leaning forward in his seat.

I take a deep breath. This sounds good so far. The judge is clearly very emotionally moved, which is exactly what I had hoped for.

"Mr. Webb, I am ready to sentence you. Before I do, I am allowing you an opportunity to address the victims." The judge says, gesturing towards Webb.

My blood runs cold.

Webb turns around in his seat, looking at each of the girls that he victimized. All of us are sat in the same row. I can feel myself tense up with dread.

He looks at each woman, then locks eyes with me.

He leans towards the microphone in front of him, and speaks into it while holding eye contact with me, "I have nothing to say, your honor."

A smile creeps onto his face before turning around back towards the judge.

With a deep sigh, the judge looks down at the documents in front of him.

"Mr. Webb, you are a danger to society. With that being said, I hereby sentence Mr. Webb to life in prison without the possibility of parole, this court is adjourned." He says, before standing up from his seat.

A wave of relief rushes over me. Oh my god. He got a life sentence.

The police officers standing near Mr. Webb cuff him and lead him out of the courtroom, the door shutting swiftly behind him. That was the last time I'll ever have to look at him.

I immediately place my head in my hands, uncontrollably sobbing.

I can't help it. I feel so many emotions at once. I feel relief, as I will never have to worry about falling victim to him again. I feel proud of myself, too. Despite all of the shit that I've been through, I had enough fight in me to speak at this court hearing today.

Lastly, I feel fear. What is next? How do I move on and heal? What about Billie?

Billie heard my statement, along with everyone elses. She knows everything. For some reason, this is the last thing I wanted. I just wanted to keep this trauma separate from my relationship with Billie, but I know it's unrealistic.

I know that I could never truly heal without talking about it. My grand plan to compartmentalize all of this was flawed, and honestly, even though I am partially infuriated by Billie deciding to show up, I think she did the right thing.

I feel a hand touch my shoulder. I look up to see Sheila.

"You did fantastic, Carmen. I am so proud of you." She says, smiling warmly.

I stand up and wrap her in a hug.

"Thank you for everything, Sheila." I say, sniffling into her shoulder.

She rubs my back for a moment, then we pull away.

"It's my absolute pleasure." She says.

I scan the court room for Billie, but I can't see her anywhere.

"I'm going to lead you to the lobby, we will have security escorts to get you to your car." She says, taking my hand gently.

I nod, trying to collect myself.

She leads me into the lobby, which is now loudly bustling with people. Everyone seems to stop and stare at me.

I look around, overwhelmed with the noise and the sound of everyone trying to talk over each other.

A man and a camera crew approach me.

"Carmen! What are your thoughts on the sentence that Mr. Webb received today?" The man exclaims, shoving the microphone towards me, causing me to flinch.

Sheila immediately pulls me away from him.

"What an out of touch prick." Sheila mutters, leading me to the edge of the room and through a door.

As soon as she closes the door behind her, I take a deep breath. The lobby was so hectic.

"I'm going to have you wait in my office until I find your security escorts." Shiela says, smiling warmly.

The sudden silence of the room seems to amplify my emotions.

"Thank you, it's much quieter in here." I say, sniffling.

"How do you feel right now?" Sheila asks, leaning against her desk.

"I don't know." I choke.

Sheila nods, and doesn't break eye contact with me.

"I feel everything." I say.

"It's common to not be able to pinpoint what you feel after things like this happen." She says, sympathetically.

"I just need a minute." I say, trying to hold back my tears.

"Okay, I'll be back soon." Sheila says, slipping back through the door.

I stare at the door as it closes behind her.

I feel pain.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek, and then another. Then, I break down into a full sob.

The hurt radiates from the center of my chest and pulses through my whole body, knocking the breath out of me.

I lean my back against the wall and fix my eyes on the ceiling, trying to distract myself somehow from the pain I feel from this whole process.

I thought that today would mark the end of the nightmare I've been living in, but it feels like its just begun. My story is out there now. I can never go back to how it was before. I will always have this trauma. This part of my life is permanent now.

I can't breathe, the pain cuts so deep. How am I supposed to cope with all of this for the rest of my life?

I cover my mouth with my hand to stifle the sound of my sobs, my vision blurred from the tears.

I jump as the door flies open and Billie walks in, letting the door close behind her.

I try to catch my breath and wipe the tears from my eyes, before locking my eyes with hers across the room.

The tip of her nose is red and her face is streaked with tears. Her icy blue eyes are filled with pain.

"I'll never be the same, Billie." My voice cracks.

Her lips tremble.

"I had no idea it was that bad." Billie says quietly, her voice breaking.

We walk towards each other and I wordlessly collapse in her arms.

I sink into her embrace, and we both hold each other and cry.

//

guys it's almost over.