Brighter Stars // Billie Eilish gxg

f o r t y o n e

tw: mentions of sexual assault, r*pe, and violence

Carmen's POV

The uber ride is long and lonely. I feel bad for treating Billie the way I did, but I think it's for the best that she isn't coming.

I don't know why I can't bear the thought of her hearing what I've been through. But I can't help but feel like a hypocrite. If Billie went through something like this, I know I'd feel the same way that she does right now.

But it's too late now.

The uber stops in front of the entrance to the courthouse, which is flooded with paparazzi. I thank him for driving me, grab my notebook, and step out of the backseat.

Immediately, the cameras start to flash.

"Miss Price! Are you speaking before the judge today?"

"Where's Billie?"

"What are you hopes for the outcome of the sentencing, Miss Price?"

I weave through the crowd and keep my head low, not intending to answer any questions. I'm met with my victim's advocate, Shiela, at the entrance.

"Don't mind them, I'm so sorry that they're bothering you." She says, guiding me into the courthouse and letting the doors close behind me.

"It's okay. Where do I go?" I ask, really feeling my nerves kick in.

"Follow me." She says, bringing me through security, then to a small room behind the courtroom.

She has me take a seat in a chair, and brings me a bottle of water.

"The hearing starts in about fifteen minutes. The defense is going to present their case, and then after that, we're going to bring you into the front row of the spectator section." She says.

I nod, taking a sip from my water. I wonder if I look as anxious as I feel.

"I'll guide you to the stand when it's your turn, and you'll read the statement you prepared. Once you're finished, I'll guide you back to your seat for the remainder of the sentencing. Sounds good?" She asks, heading towards the door.

"Yeah, thank you, Shiela." I say, giving her a warm smile.

"You're gonna do great Carmen, I know it." She says before smiling back, then leaving the room.

Okay, deep breaths. I can do this. It's only a speech, basically. It's just a speech.

I grab my phone and open twitter, in hopes to distract myself from all of this. The first thing I see on my feed is a video of me from literally 5 minutes ago, walking into the courthouse.

Great.

I lock my phone and place it on the table next to me, then open up the notebook to the page I wrote my statement on.

I read it over a few times, trying to get myself in the right headspace. I need to knock this statement out of the park.

I jump as the door swings open.

"You ready? I'm going to bring you to your seat." Sheila says, poking her head through the doorway.

"As ready as I can be, I guess." I say, taking my notebook with me and following her out of the door.

The courtroom is packed to the brim with spectators. I knew there would be a big turnout, but I severely underestimated just how many people would be here.

As Sheila guides me to my seat, I walk past Webb, and we make eye contact. His dark brown eyes pierce holes into mine, knocking the breath out of me.

I'm safe. I'm safe.

I sit down in my seat, and try not to spiral. He's in the same room as me. I knew he would be, but I didn't know I would be this bothered.

Fuck. No panic attacks. Get yourself together.